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If my husband asks if his Dad died, I found it helps my husband to answer with: Yes he did. Unfortunately we are both orphans now and have lost all of our parents, but I sure did love your Mom and Dad. Tell me what your Dad was like when you were young.
Hello @A myALZteam Member, When my husband asked about Bernie (my Dad's shih tzu we inherited when my Dad passed away), I did tell him that Bernie passed away, but I followed it up with, "he was 18 years old, and he lived a very happy life with my Dad and then living with us, we always spoiled him too. It was pretty funny to have a "Bernie Mack" (an old comedian name) in our home, and the staff at the vets office always loved to hear that name too!" This created a smile from my husband and then I started talking about the cat running around and we started playing with the cat and his toys. For you Mary, remember, we're not going to always have the best answers. You know your spouse best, give him an answer that will help him feel at ease. You can try, "the dog is at the vet, or at the groomers" and then change the subject. "Hey I know, lets go for a walk" or "Will you please help get something for me on the top shelf (pantry, kitchen, a book shelf, etc)" this will draw him to something else. And tone is big, sometimes hard to do but try to talk in an upbeat voice. I hope you find peace in your days ahead, just one day at a time.
Out for a walk
When someone with Alzheimer's asks about a deceased pet or friend, it's best to avoid causing distress by directly telling them about the death repeatedly. Instead, try these approaches:
- Validate their feelings and redirect the conversation
- Focus on happy memories you shared with the pet/person
- Use gentle distraction Show Full Answer
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