“My wife does not recognize me as her husband of 48 years,” one member of myALZteam shared. “How do I answer her when she asks where her husband is or asks if I have seen him?”

Whether a friend or a family member, realizing that a loved one living with Alzheimer’s disease no longer recognizes you can be heartbreaking. Here’s what to know about why this happens, what it may mean about your loved one’s condition, and how you can respond with care and confidence when they don’t recognize you.

When Will Your Loved One Stop Recognizing You?

Alzheimer’s disease typically progresses through three general stages: early, middle, and late. Keep in mind that these stages may overlap, meaning a person might show signs from more than one stage at the same time.

In most cases, people living with Alzheimer’s lose the ability to recognize loved ones during the late stage of the disease. Other symptoms that often appear during this time include:

• Loss of speech or the ability to communicate clearly
• Loss of muscle control
• Difficulty eating or swallowing
• Severe confusion or disorientation most of the time

These changes are part of the natural progression of Alzheimer’s. While they can be deeply distressing, they are not unusual as the disease reaches its final stages.

Why Do People Living With Alzheimer’s Forget Their Loved Ones?

There are several reasons a person living with Alzheimer’s may forget their loved ones. In some cases, the reason may be clear.

One common reason is that the person may be recalling a time from decades ago, when their loved ones looked very different. For example, they might remember adult children as young kids or picture a spouse as they looked when they first met. When someone’s appearance no longer matches that memory, the person with Alzheimer’s may not recognize them.

One myALZteam member described it this way: “My sister asks … about her husband of 40 years. I would tell her, ‘He’s right there. On the couch.’ She’d say, ‘No, that’s not him.’ I realized she was looking for him the way he looked in 1975.”

Another possibility is damage to the part of the brain responsible for recognizing faces. This can make it harder for someone to connect a familiar face with a familiar relationship. For instance, a person might understand that their daughter is caring for them but no longer recognize their daughter’s face.

In some cases, a person may temporarily stop recognizing loved ones due to an underlying medical issue, not just memory loss. These may include constipation, infections (like a urinary tract infection), pain, or side effects from new medications. These problems can cause sudden delirium (confusion), especially in people with Alzheimer’s.

If your loved one’s confusion comes on suddenly, it’s the first time they’ve forgotten who you are, or they seem unusually uncomfortable, contact a healthcare provider to rule out other causes.

What To Do When Your Loved One Stops Recognizing You

When your loved one no longer recognizes you, it can be incredibly painful and overwhelming. This is someone with whom you’ve shared deep love, care, and meaningful memories — and now, they may not recall any of those moments.

If you’re facing this heartbreaking change, here are some supportive strategies to try.

Make a Doctor’s Appointment

While not recognizing loved ones is common in the later stages of Alzheimer’s, it can also be caused or worsened by other medical issues. The best way to find out what’s going on is to schedule a visit with your loved one’s healthcare team.

Their doctor may run tests to check for treatable conditions — like an infection, pain, medication side effects, or dehydration — that can cause sudden confusion or memory issues. If one of these issues is the cause, your loved one may recognize you again once it’s addressed.

If the doctor believes that your loved one’s Alzheimer’s has progressed, they may recommend approaches to help stimulate memory or promote connection, such as using old photos, music, or favorite scents.

Use Photos Strategically

Displaying photos around the home can help a person living with Alzheimer’s feel more connected to the people they see every day. Try using pictures from meaningful moments, such as birthdays, weddings, vacations, or other special occasions. If your loved one often talks about specific memories, look for photos from those times to display in familiar places.

If you can, include images that show the passage of time. For example, show a partner or children at different ages to gently reinforce how people have changed over the years.

A labeled photo album can also be a helpful tool. Include names, dates, and descriptions like where the photo was taken or what event it captured. These written cues may offer additional context and comfort.

“Showing her pictures over the years helped a great deal, although she didn’t like the more recent pics of herself. She said she wasn’t that old yet,” one caregiver on myALZteam shared.

Wear Things That Remind Them of Who You Are

If you want to help your loved one remember who you are, try appealing to their senses and emotions rather than relying only on words. Wearing clothes they associate with you — especially something you wore often when you were both younger — may trigger familiar memories.

You can also wear a scent they once connected with you, such as aftershave, cologne, or perfume. Smells are closely linked to memory, and familiar scents may spark emotional recognition even when names or faces don’t.

Know How To Talk to Someone With Alzheimer’s

When talking with someone who has Alzheimer’s, try to avoid pointing out memory problems. If your loved one is aware of their confusion, it may feel upsetting or embarrassing. If they aren’t aware, correcting them can be disorienting.

Instead, if they seem focused on the past, gently meet them there. Ask about something that happened years ago, or follow their lead in conversation. If they ask about a loved one who has died, think ahead about how you might respond in a comforting way.

One myALZteam member shared this approach: “I said that I had seen him earlier that day and he said to tell her that he loved her very much.”

Find a Caregiver Support Routine That Works For You

One of the most important things you can do as someone caring for a loved one with Alzheimer’s is to take care of yourself, too. The emotional toll of caregiving can be heavy, and seeking support and inspiration before you feel overwhelmed can help you stay grounded and better prepared to meet your loved one’s needs.

Support can take many forms. Some family caregivers find strength in connecting with others through support groups, whether in person or online. Virtual options allow you to participate from home, so you don’t have to leave your loved one to find community.

You might also benefit from therapy or counseling to help process the challenges of caregiving. Talking with a professional can give you space to share what you’re feeling and learn healthy ways to cope.

Talk With Others Who Understand

At myALZteam, you’ll find the social network for people with Alzheimer’s and their loved ones. On myALZteam, more than 86,000 members come together to ask questions, give advice, and share their stories with others who understand life with Alzheimer’s.

Has your loved one who lives with Alzheimer’s stopped recognizing you? What did you do when that first happened? Share your experience in the comments below, or start a conversation by posting on your Activities page.