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What would happen if I take him home for a day?

October 1, 2022
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Answer Summary

Members shared deeply divided perspectives on whether to bring a loved one with dementia home for a day, with some cautioning that the... Read more

Members shared deeply divided perspectives on whether to bring a loved one with dementia home for a day, with some cautioning that the transition could cause confusion, agitation, or make returning to the facility difficult, while others emphasized that each person is different and that the joy of a home visit might outweigh temporary distress. Several members recommended consulting the nursing home staff first, personalizing the room with familiar photos and belongings to create comfort, and considering shorter visits or activities at the facility instead of a full day trip home. A recurring theme was the emotional weight of accepting that dementia will progress regardless of location, paired with encouragement to trust your instincts, seek moments of connection wherever possible, and prioritize what brings the most peace to both you and your loved one.

A myALZteam Member

All the above are great answers and I have another answer 😊 Each person with Alzheimer’s is different. There will come a time when you can’t bring your loved one home anymore. You won’t know what their experience will be like until you try so if you would like to bring them home for a day, bring them home. Some days this brought my husband the greatest joy (and me). Going back was not always easy but the hours of joy surpassed any discomfort of his going back. Often when we would return I would sit with him before leaving and he did very well. One wife picked her husband up daily for a drive and they both loved it! If you have your loved one come home and it isn’t a good experience, then you know. Whatever it looks like, live life with them the best that you can because today will be their best day (given the disease is progressive) and look for the blessings because there will be blessings. All my best to you on your journey. It is not an easy road.

October 8, 2022
A myALZteam Member

I think this is totally normal that his dementia is worse. He has been taken out of his normal routine, but sometimes it is so necessary z. My mom got more confused when we put she and my dad in a nursing facility. It got worse when my dad passed away after they had only been there 3 months. If I were you, I would not take him home. We did take my mom out for Thanksgiving, and she did not want to go back to the facility. My husband was the only one who could calm her down. If you have family and friends, try to get them to go visit. My mom always loved company. I hope things get better. Will keep you both in my prayers.

October 8, 2022
A myALZteam Member

I feel that any change is apt to cause dementia to worsen possibly permanently. If he were in my memory care unit I'd advise against taking him home for a day. It's another change and then back again. I know (my Dad died of Alz and now I'm caring for Mom) it's a temptation. I try to be sure she is surrounded by things from her home. Familiar pictures. I know it's not the same, but it helps her get those "moments of joy."
Hang in there! Take care of yourself!

October 8, 2022
A myALZteam Member

I’m so glad he is healthy and I hope you are better rested by having support. Unfortunately, dementia is a degenerative disease. Without a miracle treatment, decline will continue. There isn't a set pattern of rate so it's tricky.

Change is also really hard for the brain, especially one with dementia. There is a strong likelihood a move will increase decline cognitively. He will need to use his brain’s resources to reorient himself. It may be a place that feels familiar but, because if cognitive decline, returning home can cause confusion. He may get frustrated that he is unable to do the things he once routinely did.

It sounds like you're doing the best you can. If you can afford to keep him there, it might be good to have the same surroundings and routines he has become accustomed to. Try to find a caregiver or two you can connect to so you feel more comfortable having him there. I wish you the best.

October 8, 2022
A myALZteam Member

I believe when they are not in there home they seem to decline. My daughters grandpa did. Try your best to put family pictures and things from home. Maybe it will help. In my prayers šŸ™šŸ„°

October 8, 2022

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