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Do you talk to your loved one the next day about leaving the house in the middle of the night?

A myALZteam Member asked a question 💭
Taylor Mill, KY

Mom has left the house on 2 occasions in her shorts and house slippers. The first time, the police brought her home. The second time (at my house), she walked to a fire department a half mile down the road. Both her and my house both have alarms on the doors now. When I try to talk about it the next day, of course she doesn’t remember. How do your loved ones react to a door alarm or being locked out of a door they always used to go in (our case is the door to the basement that has steep… read more

May 22, 2020
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Answer Summary

Members shared their deeply relatable struggles with keeping loved ones with Alzheimer's safe from wandering, with many describing nighttime... Read more

Members shared their deeply relatable struggles with keeping loved ones with Alzheimer's safe from wandering, with many describing nighttime escapes, police interventions, and the constant fear of falls or dangerous situations like wandering into traffic. Several members offered practical safety strategies, including motion detectors, door alarms, slide locks placed high on doors, baby gates, hiding car keys and medications, and setting house alarms before showering, while acknowledging the heartbreaking reality that loved ones often cannot understand these measures and may react with confusion or frustration. A recurring theme was the emotional weight of balancing safety with dignity, the impossibility of reasoning with someone whose cognition is impaired, and the exhausting vigilance required when a loved one needs constant supervision yet cannot comprehend why doors are locked or alarms are sounding.

A myALZteam Member

Mom lives with us and we recently put alarms on all the doors. She can get right out, but an alarm will go off.

June 19, 2020
A myALZteam Member

I agree, there is no reasoning with them, they can’t comprehend what you are telling them. I set the house alarm before I shower, I tell him the alarm is set, please don’t open the door, never fails he sets the alarm off. He usually won’t go out of the yard but when coming back in leaves the door wide open. I make sure I shower before my son leaves for work or wait til he gets home. And yes you can be charged with elder neglect if she continues to escape. One more thing to worry about. Good luck!
🙏🏻 for all caregivers 🙏🏻

May 22, 2020
A myALZteam Member

This is scary...it seems too unsafe for your mom to still live alone in her house...alarms mean nothing to her but noise and she could get hit by a vehicle wandering...that's how my granddad with Alz died. Her cognition is too brain cell damaged to understand any safety measures. If emergency services, police and fire, get concerned they could report her wandering as elder neglect. Like a mom with a toddler it is up to you to make sure she is safe either living with you or in assisted living.

May 22, 2020
A myALZteam Member

I have slide latches at the top of all outside doors hubby can not reach them when he tries the door I calmly tell him the door is locked

July 9, 2020
A myALZteam Member

I worry about mom and dad being locked in and wouldn’t be able to get out fast enough if there was a fire.

June 18, 2020

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