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Real members of myALZteam have posted questions and answers that support our community guidelines, and should not be taken as medical advice. Looking for the latest medically reviewed content by doctors and experts? Visit our resource section.
A myALZteam Member asked a question 💭
Bay Minette, AL

My mother doesnt want to accept my daddy has Alzheimer's. She doesn't want me to go to Dr with them when he goes I know she doesn't tell the Dr what he does at home. He wanders, getting hard for him to walk he falls & it's so hard to get him up. He will look at me when I call him daddy. But he thinks mama his wife is his mama & I'm Charlene (his wife my mother). I try to read all I can on this & helping take care of him the ways work for me. But my mother will not read r try any thing Ive told… read more

December 18, 2017
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Answer Summary

Members rallied around someone struggling to help their father with Alzheimer's while their mother remained in denial about his worsening... Read more

Members rallied around someone struggling to help their father with Alzheimer's while their mother remained in denial about his worsening condition, which included wandering, falling, confusion about identities, and violent outbursts when handled roughly. Several members suggested practical strategies like contacting the doctor directly before appointments to share what's really happening at home, using the 7 stages checklist to track progression, and reading The 36-Hour Day to better understand caregiving approaches that reduce conflict and aggression. A recurring theme was the emotional toll of watching a parent deny reality out of fear and grief, met with compassionate encouragement to keep advocating for proper care, gently educate about why yelling and physical force make behaviors worse, and find ways to involve medical professionals who can deliver hard truths more effectively than family members can.

A myALZteam Member

Make an appointment with his doctor and go by yourself to fill him in. It is easier to let him know all the problems and then he will be able to subtly ask the right questions next time they visit. No one needs to know you went.

December 27, 2017
A myALZteam Member

Thank you for all the answers. My daddy is at stage 3. You all have been very helpful

December 27, 2017
A myALZteam Member

I would also write or call the doctor and cue him in on what’s going on before the next visit.

December 21, 2017
A myALZteam Member

I got on the internet and printed out the 7 stages of Alz. Then I checked off all the items my husband did pretty consistently. That way I knew where he had been and what stage he was in now and what to be expecting later. Maybe you could show this to your mother.

December 21, 2017
A myALZteam Member

Buy a book called THE 36-HOUR DAY, 6th edition this is the newest edition, will help you and your Mom. God Bless You

December 19, 2017

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A myALZteam Member asked a question 💭
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