Tap Into the Power of Directness: Use "I" | myALZteam

Connect with others who understand.

sign up log in
Resources
About myALZteam
Powered By

Tap Into the Power of Directness: Use "I"

Posted on August 16, 2019

Being a caregiver for someone who has Alzheimer's disease can mean having limited energy, time, and bandwidth. You may find yourself needing to say "no" more often than you did before you became a caregiver. Do you have a tough time being direct with others about how much free time you have? It's not unusual to feel awkward when turning down a request or an invitation. You may feel torn between the other person's need and the needs of the person you care for.

Using "I" statements can help put you back in the driver's seat of the situation. An "I" statement directly communicates your feelings and sets a clear boundary, allowing you to focus on caring for yourself and managing your loved one's Alzheimer's-related symptoms like sundowning confusion or memory loss. For instance:

I don't feel like going.
I'd rather do something else instead.
I can't do it this week.
If I attend that event, the person I care for will be impacted.

At first, you may feel vulnerable about using direct "I" statements when saying no. Your true feelings are exposed, and you may be judged for using caregiving as an excuse. "I" statements can also be freeing! You don't need to pretend or tell a white lie. It's ok to communicate directly about what you need.

Using an "I" statement is a way of taking responsibility for your feelings. You are not blaming or accusing the other person. You are being honest about your situation and making sure it is recognized.

Members of myALZteam shared some of their experiences with communicating directly:

"Is it ok to feel like I can't do this anymore? Today is one of those days for me."

"Friends and family are encouraging me to take a vacation - just a long weekend to get away. I just want time on my own without the responsibility of caring for my parents."

"How do I keep my personality, my dignity, my person, whatever you want to call it? I feel that I am the one who is disappearing."

Have you used "I" statements to set boundaries? How did it feel?
Share your stories about direct communication in the comments below or on myALZteam.

Posted on August 16, 2019
All updates must be accompanied by text or a picture.

Become a Subscriber

Get the latest articles about Alzheimer's sent to your inbox.

Recent articles

This is a short guided meditation by Dr. Christiane Wolf on self-kindness, which gives you more s...

Self-Kindness When Struggling: 6-Minute Guided Meditation

This is a short guided meditation by Dr. Christiane Wolf on self-kindness, which gives you more s...
Taking care of someone with Alzheimer’s disease can be physically and emotionally demanding. “The...

Alzheimer’s Caregiver Burnout: 6 Self-Care Tips To Try

Taking care of someone with Alzheimer’s disease can be physically and emotionally demanding. “The...
Taking over financial responsibility from a loved one with Alzheimer’s can be among the most chal...

Managing Money for a Loved One With Alzheimer’s

Taking over financial responsibility from a loved one with Alzheimer’s can be among the most chal...
When people living with Alzheimer’s become angry and combative, their caregivers face new challen...

Alzheimer’s and Anger: 6 Ways To Manage Outbursts

When people living with Alzheimer’s become angry and combative, their caregivers face new challen...
Sometimes people with Alzheimer’s disease have difficulty eating. Not getting enough calories and...

Not Eating With Alzheimer’s: 6 Strategies To Help Someone Eat More

Sometimes people with Alzheimer’s disease have difficulty eating. Not getting enough calories and...
Have you noticed your loved one with Alzheimer’s disease becoming agitated, pacing, repeating tas...

Alzheimer’s Agitation and Restlessness: Causes and Management

Have you noticed your loved one with Alzheimer’s disease becoming agitated, pacing, repeating tas...
myALZteam My Alzheimer's Team

Thank you for subscribing!

Become a member to get even more:

sign up for free

close
myALZteam
Add to your home screen
myALZteam Tap below and then 'Add to Home Screen'