Thank you so much.The way you spent your time with your mum is exactly like me. No matter how I may feel before, the moment I see Mum I’m at peace, know every moment is precious, and like you, she is my one focus once I’m with her. Despite being advanced mum thank me. It upsets me because she deserves it many, many times over given how wonderful a person and mum she has always been and still is:She still has moments of maternal lucidity, saying I’m not to work too hard, not to lose weight, should have more fun in life. Again, her selflessness humbles me.I try to write about the lovely moments, the comical things she says, hoping it will be of some comfort in the future.

I’ve tried to ascertain if the gradual grieving we do over the years makes the post- passing grief any easier. It seems that some people benefit in this way and some don’t so I’ve no idea until it happens.
One friend said that she’d had such a joyful relationship that it helped her enormously after her mum died.

Thank you.

I dealt with this for years prior to losing my mother in April. I tried to live in the moment whenever I was with her, putting my entire focus on her needs. It was sometimes hard to watch and tiring, but the appreciation that she showed for my help and care will stick with me always. It is very strange, but the struggle with anticipatory grief actually softened the punch of her final day and enabled me to handle the tough details in the days that followed. I still have my grief moments, but I now recall more of the fond memories prior to her decline. Stay strong, pray often and show yourself some grace.

@A myALZteam Member: I strongly recommend that everyone read this study:
Evidence for Grief as the Major Barrier Faced by Alzheimer Caregivers
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/instance/...

For those who prefer some easier reading, here's a good blog:
Grieving before a death: Anticipatory grief and dementia caregivers
https://www.hopehealthco.org/blog/grieving-befo...

I sincerely hope this is helpful to you.

Mentioned Users

A myALZte...

Grieving before a death: Anticipatory grief and dementia caregivers - HopeHealth

https://www.hopehealthco.org/blog/grieving-before-a-death-anticipatory-grief-and-dementia-caregivers/

Thanks