I always told my husband-there is a problem with your brain and it’s not your fault.

I only reminded my husband of his diagnosis a couple times, very early in the journey. But I realized that he got more upset that I thought he had a problem than whatever he may have forgotten or confused that prompted his question. So any other time I learned to play it down and just make a comment that his memory wasn’t as good as it used to be. I stopped using the words Alzheimer’s and especially dementia when talking to him because he felt they meant “crazy” and he would get very upset.

My husband has no awareness or insight into is memory loss or cognitive changes. Sometimes I think that's a blessing for him but I think you have an opportunity to still support your Mom even if you are gently kind about your opinion. I guess I would ask her what worries her and how can you help. Sending support. Take care.

Because my hubby is still at the early stages (praise God), I simply say "Everyone has problems with their memory" because when I would tell the truth, at the beginning, he would get very agitated and angry. Right or wrong, that's how I handle it and it's been going well for me.

@A myALZteam Member Vilma only asked me one time. It was on the drive home from our first neurologist appointment.
She asked me if I thought she had dementia. I was at a loss for words and surprised by the question. At that point she was already in a childlike state and I knew it would be like telling a six year old that something was terribly wrong….
So I simply responded with a question, “what do you think?” She immediately started listing all the things she remembered. Apparently focusing on that occupied her mind enough where I think she forgot her original question.
I told her that “we” were going to be just fine then, because now that I don’t have to work anymore we’ll be home together and we’ll take care of each other.
The subject never came up again.

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