How Has Anyone Dealt With A Loved One With Alzheimer's Being Angry, Lashing Out At People, Etc. ? | myALZteam

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How Has Anyone Dealt With A Loved One With Alzheimer's Being Angry, Lashing Out At People, Etc. ?
A myALZteam Member asked a question 💭
posted March 8, 2023
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A myALZteam Member

Oh my, that's a loaded question. I'll try to answer it. And this is only my own experience. My spouse has unexpected anger issues,too. I have learned to silence myself and just let him say whatever it is that bothers him, which is usually such a minute thing that it isn't worth my getting aggravated to explain or argue. I've tried to reason with him in the past,but to no avail. At first this was difficult for me to make that change by not feeding into his frenzy. But, the result of keeping silent, or neutral, has proven that there is less irritation, aggravation, and hurt from him. I'm not sure if what I'm saying will help you, but not adding fuel to the fire has always proven a good remedy for me, and him. Good luck.

posted March 8, 2023
A myALZteam Member

There is almost never any benefit to being triggered by the anger from the victim. Yes, that is common and as stated above by @A myALZteam Member and @A myALZteam Member you either ignore and walk away or usually a calming touch to lead them away from the issue or diverting the attention to another subject is about the only solution. I remember even learning to say, "oh, okay. I didn't know that bothered you. I will do better..." or something to that effect.

posted March 9, 2023
A myALZteam Member

I agree with Paula. My husband lashes out at me. If he starts being angry out in public. I usually lay a hand on his arm. Our doctors are great at redirecting when he show signs of beginning to anger. Being open with others about the disease and diagnosis has been key to warding off explosions outside the home. I try to refrain from arguing too. Howard often is angry days later over something. Hugs and prayers.

posted March 9, 2023
A myALZteam Member

There ARE medications to take the edge off of agitated behaviors, if they are frequent. Anxiety, frustration, agitation are all part of this disease, more pronounced in some. I ageree with the wise counsel given previously. HOWEVER, if violence, or physical contact is made by the patient, that calls for meds to calm such behaviors and protect the caregiver!

posted March 9, 2023
A myALZteam Member

Hello, Becky - I am new here so excuse me if I am overstepping. My Bros in Law, a vet, had Alz and I believe the VA furnished a live-in male attendant. He was a saving grace for my sister.
You may want to look into VeteranAid.org - Following info is from the VA website:
"Senior care is expensive. Veterans benefits may help.
What do you know about the VA Aid and Attendance (A&A) pension benefit? Millions of veterans have earned this benefit and it can help them and their families pay for senior care — but many people don’t know about it."
"When families do find out about the A&A benefit, they sometimes find the VA’s application process and eligibility requirements confusing and difficult. Some mistakenly believe the program is only for combat veterans. Others don’t realize their loved one served during a qualifying time of war, because the VA definition of wartimes extends beyond the dates of conflict. Recipients don’t need to be impoverished to qualify for A&A, either. The VA doesn’t include the value of your car, home or personal effects when it reviews assets and income for eligibility."
Are Aid and Attendance benefits worth the effort to apply?
In many cases, the answer is yes. As of December 2018, a single veteran who qualifies for A&A can receive up to $1,881 per month, a married vet can receive up to $2,230 per month and a surviving spouse can receive up to $1,209 per month to pay for needed care at home, in an assisted living community, memory care or in a nursing home.
For many families paying for senior care, this income can make the difference between comfort and hardship.
VeteranAid.org offers free help applying for Aid and Attendance.
That’s why we’re here. VeteranAid.org was created to help families pay for the care their senior loved ones need by claiming the A&A benefit their veterans are entitled to. Here you’ll find explanations of:
How to apply for A&A
Frequently asked questions (FAQ) about the A&A application process
Who’s eligible for A&A

I hope this helps, Kate

posted March 14, 2023

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