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Real members of myALZteam have posted questions and answers that support our community guidelines, and should not be taken as medical advice. Looking for the latest medically reviewed content by doctors and experts? Visit our resource section.
A myALZteam Member asked a question 💭
Oakdale, CA

Sometimes my father thinks I'm his 'partner' or wife, not his daughter, or caregiver. Which is an both! His sole caregiver.. I believe he needs help with his lower extremities, when he's showing. He tells me that me showing him " could be fun!" I try to just let it go, and not bother me..... And I know it's 'not him' but the disease. But i also get a bit disgusted
I have my own issues in the 'men' department ... I don't know how
To do this part of caregiving. I do everything else. But with… read more

October 1, 2022
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Answer Summary

Members warmly supported a caregiver struggling with showering her father, who sometimes confuses her for a partner due to his dementia, with... Read more

Members warmly supported a caregiver struggling with showering her father, who sometimes confuses her for a partner due to his dementia, with the overwhelming consensus being to maintain boundaries while preserving his dignity through verbal cues and allowing him to wash himself as much as possible. Several members shared practical strategies including handing him a soapy washcloth with step-by-step instructions, arranging for a male home health aide through Medicare or private pay, exploring day care programs that offer bathing services, and reaching out to the Alzheimer's Association for resources. A recurring theme was the emotional and physical toll of solo caregiving, with many expressing solidarity over feeling alone in their responsibilities, watching once-vibrant loved ones decline, and finding strength in small victories like successful shopping trips despite the heartbreak.

A myALZteam Member

DebbieVanderWaal, we had a young man who comes in twice a week for a couple of hours and gets my husband in the shower where he can sit down and bath himself with a washcloth. But, we haven't had Medicare cover the cost. How were you able to do this?

October 8, 2022
A myALZteam Member

My mom forgets me too she says the mean girl. Because I make her eat shower brush teeth exercise etc. things she can do. I'm not gonna let her sit and fade. I'm helping not hurting. I would of never quit my job. 💟💟💟💟

October 9, 2022
A myALZteam Member

Let her be independent as possible, like I said they can still do it, but need cues on how or what to do. I have been in assisted living caregiver for the past 40 years, I admire the ones that are wanting to give self care, all I had to do was just remind hey time for shower, and then just be there in the bathroom, saying ok let's wash your head, pour some shampoo on her hands and let her do it, may not be perfect but she has it

October 8, 2022
A myALZteam Member

We had a health assistant come in twice a week to shower my husband. Medicare covered the cost.

October 8, 2022
A myALZteam Member

You can some times get a home health to come and bath him ask your doctor for a referral

October 8, 2022

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