My mother in law wants to go back home after3 nights 4 days. We are afraid she will not want to come back with us. Her previous home is unsafe. Should we return with or without her?
Very, very, VERY typical response to being moved out of what they feel is home. Nothing else matters for the most part except trying to get back home. Something we all probably would do if taken out of your home for something you don't think you have. Stay the course and live with the results. Many blessings to you
Welcome to MAT but I am not sure why this is being considered if she is unsafe to live alone.
My mom has some of same issues. She doesnt shower. Says she did. Doesnt take meds as should. My daughter fills a weekly planner for her am and pm meds. And there are a few of us that call and remind her and set alarms on her phone and one planner i bought last year had an alarm with it.. but she sometimes takes pm meds for am. And i just recently found a baggie with pills in it. I asked her if they were ones she forgot to take. She says dont know what they are. But ive been working on new method. at breakfast time my daughter and one aunt can go by or call and stay on phone until she gets her meds and takes them. And i can do the same with another aunt that lives close by for pms. Which are taken at or after supper. Then the next morning someone scheduled to go by and ck it out can fill us in if its working.
I bought my brother a med box that had a beeping alarm and a flashing light. He had am and pm meds to take and the appropriate box of pills would light up and flash. And the alarm would continue for hours.
It worked wonderfully for about 4 weeks. Then my brother stopped paying attention to the beeping and the flashing light. But his dementia was worsening also.
You have to think of her safety and that Change is very difficult for someone with dementia.
Why did you remove her from her old home? I remind myself several times a day why my brother cant go back to his home...he wasnt taking his meds, wasn't taking showers regularly, changing clothes regularly. He wasnt eating unless someone brought him food that was ready to eat and ate with him. His refrigerator was filled with food from well meaning people and it was all moldy. He would forget to feed the dog and cat and then would feed them constantly. He forgot to let the dog out and wouldn't clean up the dog accidents in the house. His roof leaks, he has a roach and mouse infestation.
I cannot in good faith take him back to that home.