At my request my husband was driving tested at the neuroscience center. I was encouraged to be there to observe, which I greatly appreciated. It was a very thorough series of attention and coordination exercises and extensive questions. He performed poorly on all. Then on the driving simulator he was unable to process stop and other road signs and hazards. The OT clearly explained all the results and said she was putting in his chart the recommendation for him to not drive anymore. He recognized that he could cause an accident and agreed to stop driving. I think that because it all was evidence based and came via a neutral party he couldn't explain it all away by complaining it was just my emotional anxiety. The testing was administered by our medical group and ordered by his doctor, so was covered by insurance. We're still getting used to me doing all the driving, which for our generation (70's) represents a power dynamic shift.

There is a test that the neurologist can set up for him. I think you may have to pay for it, but I don't know what the cost is. I am so very lucky that my husband did not and still does not argue with me about driving. I explained we would lose our home if he caused an accident and we were sued. I wish I had some solution to your problem. Maybe if he takes a tests and fails that might convince him.

Fortunately - long before my dad was required to quit driving - we had talked about it. We agreed that there would come a day when it wasn't safe for him to drive anymore, and when that day came and he had to stop, he would do so with grace and dignity. I promised that I would let him drive for as long as it was safe. Of course, "when that day came" he wasn't ready - and didn't agree that it was time. But I reminded him, over and over, about my promise. I am his number one driver and he still doesn't like that he can't drive - but talking about it before hand did help.

Losing his license was the hardest thing for my husband to accept; luckily, insurance would not cover his lapsed license and he failed the extensive neurological driving test ($200+). However, he never accepted that he did not have the skillset to drive and consequently got angry each day over it. Unfortunately, I have no solution except to stick to your guns, hide the keys, and try to medicate the ensuing anger.

There really isn't an easy way. Most people who are impaired in any way don't see their own impairment. In GA, my dad's doctor explained that once he has been diagnosed with ALZ - any time that he is in an accident - EVEN IF IT IS NOT HIS FAULT - the insurance company could come after him for everything. My dad had not been in a serious accident - but he his reflexes were off, and he had done things like turn onto the wrong side of a divided highway (going the wrong way against traffic). But just like a parent has to do some unpopular things to keep a child safe (no you can't stick a fork in the socket - no you can't run out and play in the street), sometimes we have to do that as caregivers. It's not fun - but it is important.