My mother-in-law never told anyone my father-in-law had Alzheimers. The family just wondered what was going on ( this was 25 years ago). At that time the doctor advised her not to say anything because he might commit suicide. The family was not informed until shortly before his death. My husband Larry was diagnosed 5 years ago and I never kept it from him or my family. Because he knew. he was able to make the decision to stop driving and accept me taking over more and more. It is not the hidden disease it once was.

My H doesn’t think there is anything wrong with him. Once in awhile he comments about his not remembering or being confused. When he does things and swears he didn’t I try and tell him it’s not his fault he does the things he does or can’t remember things. I recently bought a sweatshirt that references Al/memories matter, he keeps looking at it and finally asked if it was about him. To avoid a fight I said no it’s for my mom and aunties. I think he knows something is wrong but doesn’t realize to what degree. No sense me trying to convince him that he’s sick, it just starts a fight and it really won’t change his behavior, his memory or take away the confusion. Telling your loved that they are sick is different for everyone you do what you and your loved are comfortable with.
🙏🏻For all caregivers 🙏🏻

It's really hard. I have similar conversations with my mom, although physically she is no longer strong. She has lucid moments when she understands what is happening to her, and she even tells me she knows she has Alzheimer's. The fact that my dad (her caregiver) refuses to talk about it in frank terms isn't helpful, because it makes her confused. He tells her that she just gets confused sometimes, and she knows it's way more than that. I think it's important to let our loved ones know what is happening, even if they get upset or don't always understand. It's not easy for them on their side of things either. Mom asked me once why people weren't telling her the truth about her declining health and confusion. So somewhere in there she knows, but she can't always make the connection well enough to talk about it. I know it gets frustrating and exhausting to have the same conversation over and over again. But in my case, I refuse to treat mom like a baby the way everyone else does.

Oh , I think they know but can't rationalize it . My hubby use to say don't talk about it. Like if I didn't talk about it , it might go away.

My dad refused to tell my mom when she was first diagnosed and we supported that decision. Looking back now (nearly 4 years ago), I wish we had told her so that she could have a say in how she wanted to be cared for. You do the best you can, though, and hope it is the right decision.