What a great question. In my experience in an dementia/Alzheimer’s care unit I have seen terrible results when a patient connects a name and death. I have seen great results by mentioning that same person and their hometown, their profession, or where we last spent time with them. Tell the stories but simply leave out the funeral home visit. You may be surprised at the smiles you receive in return for making those love connections. Reminder: Don’t forget to set aside some time to work on your own grief journey. Blessings. Eddie

I love the ALZ hotline. A caring and compassionate voice on the phone may be the most important anchor to our sanity that we can hold to. Worked great for me when I felt like the only person on earth carrying such a heavy load. Try it. You will not be disappointed. Call and bring light to your questions and concerns. Blessings. Eddie

Judy, the first question is why, rather than how. The way Alz works is that it disables short term memory first leaving longer term memories intact. So your mum will forget the news that her friend has passed before she forgets her friend and the times they enjoyed together. Better to let her enjoy her memories that remain and join in them with her. They are her safe place now. Good luck.

Hi JudyThom
I agree with Steve I do not tell mum when old friends and even family pass away as she would not remember.
It's bad enough when she suddenly asks where my dad is as he has been dead for over 11 years.
Hugs and prayers to you and your family.

My Mom had an episode where she was calling for her Mom and asking were the baby was. I just told her that her mom was fine and the baby was fine. She said ok and hasn't had any problems with that since. I think sometimes you just have just go with it. I noticed that my Mom remembers the past very well and if I just listen and talk to her about the past she stays calm