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How to handle not remembering where her purse and wallet is. She is constantly moving and the money for no apparent reason.

A myALZteam Member asked a question 💭
Grant, MI

My partner has moderate Alzheimer’s. Wants control of her pocket money.
Time is spent many times each day she moves it then freaks out when she can’t find it.
She does not want to give it up.
I spend inordinate amounts of time finding it trying to stop her panic.
It’s driving me crazy.

September 28
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A myALZteam Member

Hi @A myALZteam Member! We've had that problem, though maybe more focused on just the purse, not the cash. My husband gave his aunt a ton of ones, felt like a lot of money to her, but at least he was less stressed over her losing the money. We kept extra to "find" for her, but the wallet is a whole different story. Got her a big one, bright color, easier to find. Also removed a lot of options for it to be moved to, decluttered her apartment A LOT so it was obvious where things had been placed. I got real good at learning where she typically set things down, which helped too. I put shelves near where she settles, so there was an obvious place for things to go. Hope this helps you! Hang in there!

September 29
A myALZteam Member

Thanks for the tips❤️

September 29
myALZteam

This is such a common and exhausting challenge — and you're definitely not alone in dealing with it. The good news is that other caregivers have found some clever workarounds that respect a loved one's need for independence while reducing the panic.

The key is giving her the *feeling* of control over her money without the Show Full Answer

This is such a common and exhausting challenge — and you're definitely not alone in dealing with it. The good news is that other caregivers have found some clever workarounds that respect a loved one's need for independence while reducing the panic.

The key is giving her the *feeling* of control over her money without the full risk of losing it. Here are some strategies that have worked for others:

- Create a "decoy" purse or wallet with a small amount of cash (like ones or fives) that she can move around, count, and feel ownership over
- Keep the real money safe in a separate place she doesn't have access to
- Give a weekly "allowance" in cash so she has something tangible to manage and count
- Use a consistent, special spot for the purse and gently guide her back to it each time

A myALZteam member shared that putting small bills in their loved one's purse worked well because their partner enjoyed having money to handle without the risk of losing larger amounts. It's also worth considering lowering the stakes altogether — a debit card with a very low balance or spending limit can give her a sense of financial independence while limiting potential loss.

Most importantly, be kind to yourself. This level of daily stress is real and valid. The Alzheimer's Association helpline at (Phone number can only be seen by the question and answer creators) is available 24/7 if you need support too.

September 28

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