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For instance if the person will no longer brush their teeth and always need help with toilet activities. And resist taking showers, and can no longer get ready even with help to go to Dr. appointments.

3 days ago
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A myALZteam Member

Mine was required by doctor to have 24/7 care and I could not do that: I am not trained how to shower someone or change diapers, I cannot pick up this person when they fall. Home health isn't coming every fall or to shower whenever there's incontinence. I would've done nothing but have made it more dangerous for my loved one. Many less falls now in memory care. Safe showers. Staff that can notice if something is needed because they have that training. They even got my loved one eating and gained all the weight back, would not eat with me at home.
My advice would be, if being with you makes it less safe for your loved one and there is money or Medicaid to pay for it, consider memory care.
I do know someone who had theirs stay at home and then he fell outside on steps and passed away and she cannot recover emotionally from that as she blames herself for his fall and dying because of the choice she made to keep him with her.
(He could've just as easily fallen and passed away in memory care too, but she feels like she caused his death and is living with that self-imposed guilt).
You'll second guess your decision most days, no matter what you decide.
Dementia is a no-win. Whatever you decide will be judged by others, and crush your heart. Stick to what your gut tells you and trust that your person knows deep inside that you love them and are acting from that love. That's what I choose to believe.

1 day ago
myALZteam

The challenges being described — resisting personal hygiene, needing help with toileting, and being unable to prepare for appointments even with assistance — are real and significant signs that care needs may be growing beyond what one person can manage alone.

Here are some key signs that it may be time to consider a Show Full Answer

The challenges being described — resisting personal hygiene, needing help with toileting, and being unable to prepare for appointments even with assistance — are real and significant signs that care needs may be growing beyond what one person can manage alone.

Here are some key signs that it may be time to consider a memory care facility:

- The physical and emotional demands of caregiving can no longer be met by the caregiver alone
- The person with Alzheimer's is no longer safe at home without 24-hour supervision
- Health and personal care needs are increasing
- A structured environment with social interaction could improve their quality of life It's completely normal to feel guilty or uncertain about this decision. A healthcare provider can help look at the situation more objectively when weighing the options.

As one myALZteam member shared after making the move: "Now, I walk out of her place every day, knowing she is in good hands."

Memory care facilities offer 24-hour trained staff, structured routines, and a safe, secure environment — things that are very hard for even the most devoted spouse to provide alone around the clock. It's never too early to start visiting local facilities to get a sense of what's available. Reaching out to a local senior center, elder care office, or the Alzheimer's Association can also help connect with guidance and financial resources.

Taking care of the caregiver matters too — and recognizing when help is needed is an act of love, not giving up. 💙

3 days ago

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Wisconsin Dells, WI

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