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Real members of myALZteam have posted questions and answers that support our community guidelines, and should not be taken as medical advice. Looking for the latest medically reviewed content by doctors and experts? Visit our resource section.

My client (age 77) is a sweet married lady of 55+ years who has suddenly become jelous of me, the caregiver. She tells her husband that I have "taken over the duties she is perfectly capable of doing" and "doesn't need all of these people in their house".

When her husband returns home from very little activities he does independantly (like men's group), she often gives him dirty looks, does not greet him, and sometimes says nasty things to him trying to make him feel badly for leaving her… read more

June 23
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myALZteam

What a thoughtful and caring caregiver you are — it's clear how much you genuinely want the best for her. The behaviors you're describing, including jealousy, suspicion, paranoia, and anger directed at loved ones, are actually very common in Alzheimer's and are recognized symptoms of the disease progressing, not a Show Full Answer

What a thoughtful and caring caregiver you are — it's clear how much you genuinely want the best for her. The behaviors you're describing, including jealousy, suspicion, paranoia, and anger directed at loved ones, are actually very common in Alzheimer's and are recognized symptoms of the disease progressing, not a reflection of anyone doing anything wrong.

A myALZteam member shared something that really resonates here: "I realize I am the one who needs to change. Learn not to take it personally. Don't engage and argue."

That said, here are some strategies that tend to help in situations like this: Practical Approaches

- Don't engage or argue when accusations arise — responding can unintentionally escalate things
- Redirect and distract — guide the conversation toward something positive or a favorite activity
- Reassure her calmly and warmly that she is loved and that everyone around her is looking out for her
- Validate her feelings without confirming the false belief — something like "I understand you miss doing those things" can go a long way
- The family meeting idea is excellent — having her husband and children present a united, loving front can help her feel supported rather than managed On the Medication Question

Bringing up medications with her doctor is absolutely worth doing, especially since she has expressed willingness to try. Anxiety, depression, and paranoia are all manageable symptoms, and a doctor can help weigh the options carefully. Some medications can affect Alzheimer's symptoms, so it's important her doctor guides that conversation with full knowledge of her current situation.

The fact that she is pleasant and engaged when you two are alone is a really positive sign — it shows the connection is there. These behavioral episodes are the disease talking, not her.

June 23

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