I first faced this with my Dad. I can remember so well when I went to get into the front seat of his car, and he refused to go with me. He stormed back into the house and wouldn't come outside again. I just waited for him to cool down and he came back and got into the car.
Now I have had to face that with my dear husband. It was much harder to deal with him than my own dad. He started having problems with his van, and the first thing I told our mechanic was NOT to repair his van anymore. I told him that I would be planning on selling it quietly because my husband had been diagnosed with Alzheimer's and dementia. He knew it was a one-owner vehicle, so he arranged for the sale, and we got a wonderful offer. I think you have to just find the easiest solution that fits your situation and act quickly. There isn't an easy way to deal with the issue of driving, especially when it is your dad or husband. That male instinct is just so very independent and strong.

One possibility is to talk with the local agent for the company you use for auto insurance. Ask if he/she could talk to your husband for ten minutes in person about the risk of an impaired driver, both to the driver and to the general population. If the agent could quote statistics or show a graph, it would add to the credibility of thediscussion. I think a male agent would stand a better chanceof bonding with your husband.

My husband started not driving when we were on a vacation. I hadn’t planned on doing all of the driving but once we were out of WI, he wouldn’t drive. At home he would still drive his pickup around the area. When he stopped at a kwik trip and couldn’t get the truck started, he went into the store and had the young clerk call me on Bobs phone. I asked him if he had the keys. He first said no, but then found them in his pocket so he got in the pickup and with a little coaching he started it and drove the 3 miles home. After that I wouldn’t let him go alone. Then one day the battery was dead and I told him we would have to have it fixed before he could drive it. It still sits there and he rarely says anything about it.

I do think that you should acknowledge their anger that they can’t drive. Tell them you are sorry that this has happened to them. Remind them it isn’t their fault, but it is because of the brain disease they have and they have no cure for that disease. Let them have their time to be angry. Don’t get caught up in any further discussion. Just make sure he can’t find the keys!

The last year my husband did drive I was still working full time. He had a few minor accidents, hitting a stopped a car at a stop sign. He says he didn’t do damage to her car but broke a lamp on his. He also blew a tire running over a curb making a sharp turn. Finally at an intersection he realized too late he was in the straight only lane and wanted to turn left, so he did -into another car who was also going straight.
The fact that he couldn’t explain to me on the phone where the accident took place or how it happened (I learned from the police report) was enough for me to want to take his keys. We were lucky he didn’t cause people to be hurt. He did remember the woman he hit crying because “her car was new and he ruined it “.
I continued to remind him of that day whenever he would get upset that we wanted him to stop driving. I remind him he is lucky no one got hurt.
His memory is so bad now he can’t remember any of this but in his condition at the time he would have been blamed for the accident even if it wasn’t his fault because he was incoherent. When he was upset he couldn’t speak clearly and the police and other driver would have blamed him.
So after all this rambling I guess I’m saying your loved one could get into an accident and hurt someone or be sued, even if they were not at fault, because it will be assumed they were at fault.

It was a long time -2+ years that we struggled with this. The doctor told him to let me do the driving. It didn’t matter. He just told me that the doctor doesn’t know him or what he can do. He also didn’t remember anything that was told to him about driving. He’d get very angry and refuse to get in the car if he couldn’t drive. It was a nightmare. Now, it’s been over a year since he’s driven. I bought a new car and haven’t let him drive it. He still can get crabby occasionally when I get in the driver’s seat before he gets a chance to. We don’t talk about it, but I can sense his irritation.