I’m taking care of my Mom at home, but I just want to offer that, depending on where you live, you may be able to find a facility that has a “step up” program. This is where you have an assisted living facility with an associated memory care facility nearby or on site so that your Mom would be able to get help at an appropriate level. Also, if you are concerned about the sedation level of the facility, be sure to ask about their “medical restraint” policies and how easy it is to get a med evaluation. Everybody who has to struggles with this decision and you have to feel content in your own heart that it is the right choice! Sending hugs and support!❤️

Working in memory care, I watched this countless times. It's heartbreaking. Now I'm at this point as my mother's care giver. For me it's a matter of safety. She showers herself, etc, but I have to be sure she doesn't wander out of the building. She is in assisted living and currently I'm going to try having aids go in more frequently. I think she needs more human contact and I can't be there all the time. A move to memory care would, in my opinion, make her worse right now, but the day will come.
When she moves, I will attempt to be like the parent leaving the child at school the first day- all smiles and positive attitude. Then, I always told my families to go sit in the car and cry your eyes out. You are doing the best thing for them. They may not be happy about it, but they need to be safe and cared for. You simply can't do it all!
Best wishes on this painful decision. Take care of yourself!

Some Memory villages have more than one resident. Someone like your mother could be placed with others at her level.

I second what @A myALZteam Member said. I gather there are some Assisted Living options that take dementia patients who just aren't "ready" for Memory Care yet. Might feel like a better fit to you both. My best to you.

Mentioned Users

A myALZte...

Thank you! I wish I could have my mom at home but all bedrooms upstairs and I have 4 very large dogs in the house that would knock her over. We can’t sell and find a house with granny flat as the prices in San Diego are so inflated. Ugh!