Daughter, I use dental swabs instead of a toothbrush to clean my wife’s teeth (specific brand: Munckcare Disposable Oral Swabs, Individually Packed). I also use a dentist formulated oral rinse instead of toothpaste (specific brand: TheraBreath OralRinse, Mild Mint flavor).

I find that the swabs and rinse are easier to use (and better accepted by my wife).

That said, lack of cooperation by my patient is a major problem. On three out of five days she will not allow me to clean her mouth. I do not fight with her, but I ask again after 15 minutes if she will let me clean her mouth.

Before moving my wife to a Memory Care Facility my wife of 46 years "Always" wanted to go home yet she was home. But our home when we were married is now 300 miles away. One day I "Drove" her home. Took her for a ride. Drove for miles without purpose, drove back, she got out of car, came back in and forgot about
"Going Home".

I worked in memory care a good portion of my life. Oral care is very important. Why can't her teeth be brushed? Does clench her mouth shut? I have brushed teeth on people that aren't even conscious! Obviously you have to be careful with liquids, etc., but I would question why they aren't doing oral care. Swabs are good. Toothettes might even help a little with tartar. Lemon glycerin swabs are good if the person is unconscious to help moisturize and remove debris.
Best wishes and be sure to take care of yourself.

There are dental Hygenist that will do home visits.

She should be seen by a hygienist.