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Real members of myALZteam have posted questions and answers that support our community guidelines, and should not be taken as medical advice. Looking for the latest medically reviewed content by doctors and experts? Visit our resource section.

What To Say….

What To Say….

My mom keeps saying she wants to go home. She has lived in the same spot with her husband for 7 years. They haven’t moved, or nothing has changed. So when she says this we reminder her that she is home and she gets mad or agitated. Any advice on what we can say to her that isn’t correcting her but will remind her that she lives here? Should we be asking her where home is? Any advice would be great! It’s a daily thing and it is getting harder and harder.

A myALZteam Member said:

My husband talked about going home, to Jacksonville Florida. That was his parents’ last residence, but he never lived there. His dad was a Navy career man and he grew up across the United States and even lived in the Philippines for a few years. When he would say that, I would tell him it’s too far for me to drive. I told him that his parents weren’t there anymore, and they had died sometime back. He said he didn’t really know that. But he did accept it and stopped asking. Some people have said they will take their loved one on a drive around town, then come back to where they are living, and tell them we’re home now. Maybe that would work for your mother. They cannot enter our world, so we have to enter theirs

edited, originally posted about 1 month ago
A myALZteam Member said:

Andrea, it is possible that your mom is referring to her childhood home. As ALZ destroys the patient’s memory, the most recent periods are destroyed first, typically leaving only memories of their childhood.

You might try deflection in response to a request to go home - something like “I just called home and everyone is out right now. I’ll try again in a half hour.” Worth a try.

posted about 1 month ago
A myALZteam Member said:

How is her memory, otherwise? Does she remember things from day to day or does she forget you were even there if you leave for 10 minutes.
I can tell my dad that we are going home after lunch or that we are going home tomorrow morning, but he will not remember. It does calm him down and this continues to work each time.

posted about 1 month ago
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