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About myALZteam
Real members of myALZteam have posted questions and answers that support our community guidelines, and should not be taken as medical advice. Looking for the latest medically reviewed content by doctors and experts? Visit our resource section.

How Do You Deal With A Person With Alzheimer's Self Esteem And Their Ordering A Meal When Going To A Restaurant?

How Do You Deal With A Person With Alzheimer's Self Esteem And Their Ordering A Meal When Going To A Restaurant?

My husband and I have been on this journey officially for almost a year (1/11/22). I've read several books that have helped me immensely. I have not had any history in my family of Alzheimer so this is very new for me. I realize each day is different and I've been able to use some of the tools I have learned from the books to help me respond or deal with my husband's reaction. However, yesterday, I failed and don't know what I should do in the future if this situation arises again. My… read more

A myALZteam Member said:

Hi, Vanessa. You might go back and look at Jimmy’s trigger for being upset - seems that started when you all had food and he didn’t. We used to go out to eat with other couples living with dementia. Waiting was never even on the agenda. If someone got their food before Jackie then she would help herself! If she had a placemat decorated with food, she’d be at it with her knife and fork! One odd thing that I saw all the way through with Jackie was that “muscle memory” worked way better than memory for what has been said/planned. So the act of going to a restaurant, sitting at table created an immediate expectation. Add to this the very common loss of empathy and ability to see perpectives other than their own and things can get feisty very easily - and often did. We learned to see that our partners with Alz had food and preferably got served first. That pretty much kept a lid on things.

Great to hear that you’re investing in educating yourself and that you’re seeking input from this group. It’s easy to miss the simple truth that through this portal we all have access directly to many hundreds of years of caregiving experience. That is pure gold and I wish I had found this place much sooner than I did. I’d like to add you to my team. Best wishes, S.

posted 7 months ago
A myALZteam Member said:

Alzheimers association has a little card you can hand to a server or others explaining the situation so the person with AD doesn’t get defensive or distressed.

posted 7 months ago
A myALZteam Member said:

I've heard of that. I'll look into this. I made up one myself but would like to compare.

posted 7 months ago
A myALZteam Member said:

Steve, You are absolutely right, ALZ is gold and right at our fingertips. Knowing that we are not alone, drawing on each other’s experience’s and knowledge is a true blessing. The love and support found here, maybe the very blessing we need to get through the day.
Thank you Steve, thank you everyone for sharing.
Praying for all.

posted 7 months ago
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