How To Convince Mum Another Resident Isn't Dad (HELP!) | myALZteam

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How To Convince Mum Another Resident Isn't Dad (HELP!)
A myALZteam Member asked a question 💭

Mum (87), severe memory loss, is in "Transitional Care" in a coed locked unit. The staff on weekdays are excellent, very short-staffed on weekends, so although I live two hours away, I'm trying to be there every weekend. Mum is confused about a male patient in a wheelchair whom she is convinced is my Dad. She is getting FAR too intimate with him, pushing him in his wheelchair, kissing the back of his head, whispering in his ear. She gets very angry if the staff call him by his real name or try… read more

posted October 31, 2021
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A myALZteam Member

I chuckled about the sign on the back of his wheelchair. I was going to suggest a photo of your parents together for her room. And since the man seems more "with it", maybe the staff should have a chat with him about his wife finding out. And that your mom is confused. Hugs!

posted October 31, 2021
A myALZteam Member

Thank you so much! Dad finally got over his fear of visiting and went for the first time this week. It went well, so I'm hoping he'll now go more often and that it will help. The staff are very aware and keeping a close eye on the situation. Even though Dad visited this week, my sister said Mum was very affectionate again with the man today. I notice that Mum is unable to discern now that the other patients in the little unit have more advanced dementia than she, so perhaps she really lacks the capacity now to discern the difference.

posted November 5, 2021
A myALZteam Member

Don’t be upset by this behavior; his/her brain just doesn’t control impulses anymore. It’s up to you to overlook until you can get help from staff. Their security and comfort must be primary concern.

posted November 5, 2021
A myALZteam Member

My husband was given sersquil and all thinhs got worse can't stop shaking stopped eating has had weight loss Dr say dementia has worsened in last stages Did that cause the decline.He had all the side effects.

posted November 3, 2021
A myALZteam Member

I have found that this disease can make people feel very, dare I say the word, sexual😂😂I know it’s not funny but Dan looks at me a certain way and I say “No”. I can barely get him to shower once a week. And after cleaning various things off that area, my interest is not there. In my moms memory unit there are only about 2 men. My realtor was here today and said her father in law has a girlfriend in the facility but he’s still married.

posted November 4, 2021

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