With my husband, he often did not understand my words. Gesturing worked better with just a single direction word or none at all. Remember, they may not know you at the moment and are not comfortable with changing in front of you. Think about why they don't want to - is it that they do not know how to start the task. Staying calm is important. Sometimes asking once - if there is no response - leave the room and come back in 5 minutes and try again rather than trying many times all at once is better. My husband could not remember that he refused so each attempt was a fresh start with less anger than if I would have stayed near him and tryed many times. For us, the big issue was getting in the shower.