I overhear lots of conversations between mom and friends/family and when they ask her how things are going, her response is always negative. She says "it's rough" or "bad". When I ask her about it, she swears she didn't say that. Seems like I can't do anything right, when I get her breakfast, lunch and dinner, give her the meds, wash her clothes, fix her tv (a million times a day),.... it's exhausting and hurts when I feel like she's talking bad about me to others. My sibs say that… read more
My mom get irritated with me when its time for her shower. She tells me that she can't stand me and that I make her sick. She even called me a tramp. Its hurtful, but my support encourages not to take it personal because it is not her it is the disease. I am learning different ways to approach her with gentleness. Still and yet everyone does not have the same symptoms. I have to watch her take her meds. I put the pills in her hand and hand her the water, and remind her to take them or she will just hold them in her hand. It gives me great joy to be able to do this, but at the same time it can be very emotionally draining. It is heartbreaking to witness my mother in this condition. Sometimes I breakdown and cry. This is not my mother this is the disease. I have to keep reminding myself.
Can you afford some in-home care, or assisted living? It sounds like you need some help.
I am in the same boat "mom complains to others". I have to just let it roll off my back and know I am doing the right thing. I walk away when she starts to verbally attack me or start unhealthy conversations about complaints. It is NOT as easy as typing the words yet necessary to keep my head in check of self care that is NOT being selfish. Her POA and I agree if she becomes physical then it's time to consider placement options. For now she is in her villa.
Don’t worry about the bathing. So long as they don’t stink it’s ok. My husband is cold so I just stick to warm towel cleaning face and hands every day and dressing quickly.
I struggle getting my mom to bath as well. I am learning to approach her in a new way, being more gentle, so she doesn't get more agitated. This is all new to me and it is helping me to grow more. It is helping me to see life from a different perspective. Life is precious. I want her be as happy as possible. At the same time making sure I set aside time for self so I don't burying myself under this situation. My support tells me its only temporary. But we know there is no cure. That's what breaks my heart 💙