Joan -
A dear friend of mine who passed recently at 53 was a quadriplegic since the age of 19. He had caregivers who lived in and they would brush his teeth, but his GO TO was a hydrogen peroxide rinse. You might ask a dentist if this is OK. I recently had a tooth abscess and had to have root canal and I take excellent care of my 76 year old teeth!!! You don't want him to have that, so if you can get him to rinse and in to see a dentist, you might save his teeth. Good luck!!

I can only tell you what I do. Awhile back I notice my husband was not brushing all his teeth. A wake up call was when he had 4 minor cavities, the first cavities he had in 40 years. I tried a water pick that was a disaster. Telling him how to brush did not work either. He just got annoyed as he just did not understand my directions. So eventually, I just started making up stories why I would brush his teeth. Fortunately, he was receptive and also lets me floss. I tell him that I see blood when I brush, and we need to floss. Lately, he has been making more discomforting faces and grunting when I ask him to sit down when I have the toothbrush ready, but I try to make a big deal about how white his teeth are or distract him with stories, or tell him I am his own personal hygienist or whatever gets it done. I also have to stay on top of him rinsing because if I don’t say spit out he will swallow. Good luck

Pam ~
I hear your frustration and am sorry it's so hard to cope with a man you hardly recognize anymore. Here's where all the sacrifice and God's grace come in!! The only reward is the knowledge that we did our best and followed His command to "love one another." This may be the hardest love of all but don't give up! I ask God for an extra portion of patience, wisdom, guidance, endurance, and a dose of His supernatural love to complete this journey. May He who loves you more than you can imagine, come beside you and carry you through to the end.

I haven’t had any experience with this as my mom still seems to enjoy brushing. But I have a friend whose 86 year-old husband had the same problem. She started using an electric toothbrush with him and he actually seems to like it. She stays close, though. Maybe, would that help?

Rina

So right. Out from between the ears and onto the screen gives both perspective and relief.