How Do You Handle Phone Calls/ Confusion | myALZteam

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How Do You Handle Phone Calls/ Confusion
A myALZteam Member asked a question 💭

Hi, I’m New on here. My mom lived by herself, passed out ( we think) and fell, busted her head open, fractured her ankle Oct 3rd, went into rehab/ for care. It became apparent pretty quickly there was progressive cognitive decline. We were hoping it was just the pain meds, moving from familiar surroundings from 52 years in same home. We moved her from rehab care facility to an assisted living facility a month ago. Covid hasn’t helped much because we can’t visit her- only call. She’s very… read more

posted December 21, 2020 (edited)
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A myALZteam Member

We had to just keep telling mom she couldn’t care for herself any longer, that we loved her and wanted her safe. We had to repeat that a lot. She is now in an assisted living facility and is very happy. She no longer asks about her house. It just takes time. They are so confused and don’t remember from one moment to the next. It is very hard on family having to watch their loved one go through this, and it is ok to grieve your loss of the mom you knew. I find it still sneaks up on me when I see a new stage in my mom and in my husband. It just breaks my heart. I tell myself that the best I can do for them is to make sure they are safe and love them. Hang on, be kind to yourself, this is a hard journey we are navigating and it is different for each one. Prayers and hugs.

posted December 21, 2020
A myALZteam Member

I hope your mother is on the mend. TuckerBE's comments are spot on. Our Loved Ones reach a stage in their Dementia where we have to accept that the best we can do for them is insure their comfort and safety. You cannot make her be happy. Reassure her and check in with her regularly. Both of you need time to adjust to these changes in your lives.

posted December 21, 2020
A myALZteam Member

KathiW.
It’s so difficult when you get hit with that news that they can no longer care for themselves.

She has gotten a little better about asking to go home every time I talk to her. I think she may be settling in a bit. That’s my prayers.

posted December 29, 2020
A myALZteam Member

My Mom broke her hip, had surgery & hasn’t been herself since. After 6 weeks in rehab, we were told my Mom needed 24/7 care & a Board & Care was recommended. Like your Mom, mine just kept saying “I want to go home”. I told my Mom that the house w/5 patients was next after rehab & we called it Transition Care House. I don’t know if that was right or wrong but it seemed to work. I pray that she settles in & as her Dementia progresses, she be happy in a safe & caring home. I visit every day, outside w/masks & 6’ away. I’m so sad, I miss my Mom.

posted December 29, 2020
A myALZteam Member

Thank you. Physically she is but the confusion has gotten worse.

posted December 22, 2020

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