I’m so sorry this is so difficult! Your mother has so many different needs and it must be hard to balance everything and still respect her desires. Do you or one of your siblings have POA and/or Medical Proxy? Perhaps you are reaching to point where someone needs to step in and make decisions with and for your mother. I also have an idea of how you might be able to come up with a solution by reframing the picture. Your mother’s resistance could be a symptom of, not a reaction to, her diagnosis of ALZ. She may not be aware of the fact that she is mixing up stories and telling half truths to your siblings, and her resistance to medical stuff may be her fear of not understanding what is happening or why. And so much of our understanding comes from feeling oriented by what we see and hear - if your mother is struggling with her vision and hearing, it must be really hard. My Mom struggles even when I am in another room, so if your mother doesn’t feel like she can even stay grounded that way, everything would seem to be harder. If your mother won’t move into a facility or with you, can someone move in with her? This is all so hard! You might want to give your local ALZ Association a call and find out what services might be available. Sending hugs and support!❤️

Whenever I take my Mom to see a new doctor, I fill out the paperwork for her file in advance and mail it in. (usually highlight Dementia on the front) I include a summary from myself that informs them of her dementia and that her answers are not always accurate. I also remind the receptionist that I sent previous information when we check in, and for the doc or nurse to please take a look. It has helped because she doesn't always know why she is at the doctor's office. I also remind them when I schedule appointments. It has helped.

My Mom refused to leave her home even after putting nail polish in the microwave and exploding it. I have power of attorney and made the decision to put her in assisted living. She could not afford 24/7 in home attendance. If you do not have POA you may have to go to court. Do not feel guilty. Think of your Parent as your young child. If they were doing something dangerous-you would stop them even if they protested. Still, if you put them In a care facility, DON’T ABANDON THEM THERE or make the facility responsible for maintaining your loved one’s social connectedness. I visited my Mom every day for 2 years and now 5 years later almost every day. After two years, I moved her from a large Assisted living facility to a small residential care home. There are only 7 residents in a suburban home and it has been a godsend for my Mom. She is now in hospice and her fellow residents have been so kind and caring .

I have such a hard time with my mom I feel like so many people in the medical field don’t have an understanding for Alzheimer’s !when I take her to appointments they ask her questions like she can answer them!