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How Can I Get My Mother To Be Diagnosed

How Can I Get My Mother To Be Diagnosed

Its obvious my mother has alzheimers and is getting worse. My step dad and I looking for solutions to get her diagnosed. Deep down she knows she has it. When she forgets things she really gets upset. If you even mention anything regarding it, suggestions or mention anything to do with memory she makes the roof come off. I just moved back this week to be closer. This is heartbreaking and sad.i hate watching my mom fall apart and I feel so helpless. My stepfather spends every waking hour on the… read more

A myALZteam Member said:

There are more than a dozen things you could try to slow down the progression and possible reverse some symptoms. They start with really basic things. Diet is really important! Many of us find removing sugar and flour help a great deal! Health food choices really make a difference!

posted over 1 year ago
A myALZteam Member said:

Hi TH9! I’m so sorry that you are going through the struggle that so many of us have been through. It took me a long time to get my Mom to be willing to go to the doctor, even her PCP who she has seen for decades and has a great relationship with. For me it took convincing her that I needed to know what was happening because I was really scared that if it wasn’t a memory issue, something else pretty horrible was happening. What if she had a brain tumor or some other disorder that could be treated? Maybe bringing a trusted family friend into the conversation might help - a pastor or long time family friend who would be able to explain that you and your stepdad are worried and need to know how to handle whatever is in the future. I also think that making a decision to go through the evaluation process doesn’t mean that other decisions have to be made immediately. Although we started medication right away (including an antidepressant that made the next few months easier than they otherwise might have been), we put off making any other huge decisions for about 6 months, and made a priority of spending time with family and friends and going to special places. My Mom was clear that part of her fear was that having a diagnosis meant life was over- I set out to make sure she didn’t feel that way. I wish you so much goodness and patience through this process- your Mom loves you and is probably really scared. Sending hugs and support to you and your stepdad!❤️

edited, originally posted over 1 year ago
A myALZteam Member said:

Bless you for moving closer...if you know name of mom's family dr perhaps you or stepdad could send him/her a brief point form note of your concerns re mom in case she sees dr for something else...dr can't answer any questions but can certainly take note of family's concerns. Is there any chance stepdad has same dr as mom ?

posted over 1 year ago
A myALZteam Member said:

I'm in this identical situation. My sister, stepdad and I have tried every angle, every compassionate approach and argument, but she's in deep denial and fear, and refuses to admit that she needs help or could benefit from testing. I have sent her primary care doctor a letter documenting her symptoms, which clearly reveal dementia, and asked him to incorporate this into her care. Now we need my stepdad to get her back for an annual and I'm hoping that doctor steps up. He does specialize in issues relating to aging (my sister and I helped my mom pick him when she needed a new primary care doctor last year. We looked for someone with that speciality so that we could incorporate this, since she was in denial). She's now seeing a back doctor and I may send the same letter to him. I figure it can't hurt to spread the word to any doctor, and maybe they can help her move towards some testing.

On one hand, it's better to be tested and have a diagnosis so you can plan and get any treatment available. On the other, there is truly little that can be done medically, as far as I understand it. I'm not willing to take away her dignity by somehow forcing her into the car to an appointment she's refused to have. I admire that lcroft above was able to sneak a test into her mom's an annual exam...easier said than done, I think. And I can imagine the pain and hurt feelings afterwards.

For me, I've worked to let go of the guilt, and feeling of helplessness (with the help of my therapist). I feel that I have done all I am able to do at this time. I think it may be that my mom only is tested after she really worsens. It's just really crummy, particularly not to be able to address it. I feel you...

posted over 1 year ago
A myALZteam Member said:

Yes it is very scary! My Mom was diagnosed 3 years ago and was in denial the whole time (now she doesn’t even remember she has it.)
My Mom has these tests that her neurologist suggested -
PET scan, CAT scan, MRI, ultrasound. Find a neurologist and they can help.
My family and I had a heart to heart talk with my Mom and that seemed to help her decision into getting tested. Best of luck ❤️❤️

posted over 1 year ago
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