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A myALZteam Member asked a question 💭
Eldersburg, MD

My husband has always done our house repairs, etc. He thinks he can still do many things that he cannot. He gets angry with me when I try to interfere, saying, "this is mans work, don't tell me what to do".

February 6, 2020
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Answer Summary

Members connected over the heartbreak of watching capable husbands lose the ability to do household repairs and projects they once excelled... Read more

Members connected over the heartbreak of watching capable husbands lose the ability to do household repairs and projects they once excelled at, with many sharing how their partners resist help and insist on maintaining control despite no longer being physically or cognitively able to complete tasks safely. Several members described the painful tension between respecting their husband's need for independence and usefulness while managing the practical reality of hiring outside help, with some noting that energy loss, long project timelines, and safety risks like ladder work have forced difficult conversations. A recurring theme was recognizing that resistance isn't personal but rather grief over lost independence, met with deep empathy from caregivers navigating when to step in and when to let go.

A myALZteam Member

Alot of it is he is losing his independence and doesn't feel useful...its not personal even though it feels that way❤

February 6, 2020
A myALZteam Member

Hi, I have found my husband has no energy and naps more than a baby.

February 23, 2020
A myALZteam Member

Same here😮Thinks he can still fix things but nooo
Use to be the best handyman 🙏

February 6, 2020
A myALZteam Member

My husband is only 69 but his energy level is way off. He tires very easily. Is that part of dementia?

February 22, 2020
A myALZteam Member

Same here, he still wants to clean out the gutters and replace fluorescent lights and we have many, trim our fruit trees, which means he has to stand on a ladder. I put my foot down and reluctantly he agreed. He is 88 years old and besides having ALZ he has macular degeneration. He is on medication to hopefully slow down the disease. He is beginning to realize that somethings he no longer can do.

February 21, 2020

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