Just an idea: One of the older couples in my face to face group did a move from their home to assisted living slowly. The wife has Alzheimer's. They furnished the new place and then started spending time there, first during the day and eventually at night. Again a little fib helps like: "We will stay here tonight, the carpets are being cleaned" The painter's are almost done, we will be able to go home tomorrow". With some familiar decorations or his favorite chair, it may go OK. I am sure there will be adjustments but if you can keep his routine as similar as possible, it should help.

My move to live with my son and his SO was initially his idea. His company had transferred him to Huntsville from Birmingham. He is a commercial electrician and his company was taking advantage of the massive construction going on there now. We have always lived near each other and since my husband had died in 2012, i had depended on Joe to help me with many little things.And as I began to worry how I would get along without him, he suggested I move with them. I had already suspected that I was developing Alzheimer's and was very anxious about that. So it seemed like a good solution for me, and add in the fact that my daughter lives just a little north of where we finally landed, perfect. Yes, it's hard, yes I had to sell my house, yes I'm having to learn to live with a strange woman and 1000 other little things. But I have my dog, along with their two, have large bedroom and bath, living room, front porch , can garden, still drive, mostly am happy...do I miss my freedom and former life...yes I do, but this is just my next step in life, and I am secure in my decision. I have Social security, long term care insurance, my daughter is spending the weekend with me, the others have gone to the beach.Still seem to have mostly good sense. What else could an old girl want?

Sorry, I mis read. If he’s coming to stay with you, then yes, go for it. Same principles, different setting. You might like to check with Norma what it was that convinced her that such a move was a good thing.

My mum kept putting it off and in the end it was an emergency placement. That’s never the best outcome and when placement is inevitable, going in a planned and supported way won’t be pain free but, for me, is preferable. Benefits to going early include being able to build relationships with other residents and particularly staff that are like credit at the bank of goodwill for later.. Good luck.

I don't think our loved ones are ever ready to leave their home. I had to put my 82 yr old mama in a facility for her safety. She had broken her hips 3 different times, fell down stairs, etc...I couldn't lift her as she became dead weight. She's happy and safe. My ultimate goal that took years due to badly behaved, ignorant brothers.