We took mother 's keys away about 2 months ago. She did OK at first. Now she is demanding her key and does
not want anyone to drive her or go with her. Very frustrating.
Three years ago, doctors told us in no uncertain terms that Dad should not be driving at all. Dad disagreed and was so obsessed with wanting to continue driving, stating he's a great driver, etc. We kept trying to reassure him this was not based on something bad he has done, rather it was a precautionary measure because of his diagnosis. Unfortunately, we had to hide the keys-- he thought he lost them. But it was like torture for him, seeing that car in the yard every day. Eventually, we told him we would have the car towed to my house for the winter months "just in case" Three years later, he still believes he can drive, and he gets very angry when you tell him he can't/shouldn't. There is no reasoning with him here, so we just change the subject now. Some folks have said that they had a doctor "write a prescription" on a prescription pad, reminding the patient that he can not drive per the doctor's orders. Our doctor would not do this,but I've heard various outcomes on that.
We had the doctor talk to him about relinquishing his keys to his truck. it really went well. He after a few months said he should sell the truck because it was of no use to him. every once in a while he will bring up wishing he could drive again and go do what he wants when he wants. But for the most part he knows it was for his own welfare and others too. He said he would never want to hurt someone.
My neighbor’s husband had Lewey Body Dementia; he passed away four years ago. She had to take the car keys away from him, as well, for his safety. She was also a paralegal & worked for an attorney; she was able to work from home part of the week. When I expressed to her my concerns about my husband’s driving, she said that he shouldn’t be driving, especially with the diagnosis of Alzheimer’s. It’s not safe for him anymore, but if he got into an accident & hit someone or someone else’s property, he (we) could be sued big time! His medical records would become evidence against him (us) & we were at risk of losing everything, in a vehicle fault case. So, I took the keys away & sold his car, explaining these reasons that it was no longer safe for him to drive. It’s just not safe for him or the public. He understood, but he used to complain ever so often, about not having his own car to drive; he’s 76 years old & drove most of his life. It was emotionally hard for me to take his car away, but I had to look at the situation from a legal point of view & keep have us at risk of a lawsuit.
My Dad has a fit that he can't carry his wallet anymore. I tried giving it back to him and left a couple of dollars in there just so he would feel as if he had money if he needed it. Everytime we went out, he would hand it to me and ask me to keep it in my purse. After a while, I gave up. The topic often comes up in conversation, so I do the same, but he always hands it back to me. I usually end up carrying his glasses, too. Recently, he decided he wanted to carry them. For days afterwards, he was always wearing sunglasses from the time he woke up til he went to sleep. I'd ask him about it and he would complain it was too sunny outside (even at 9pm). I was cleaning out my car and found his glasses under the seat and realized he had lost them but wasn't or couldn't admit it. So now, the glasses go into my purse as well.
I would give your Mom a key on a key ring but not one that will open a door or turn on a car. If she tries to use it, you can just tell her the car may need servicing and hopefully, she'll forget about it and move on to some other topic.
We never share your personal information with anyone.