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Real members of myALZteam have posted questions and answers that support our community guidelines, and should not be taken as medical advice. Looking for the latest medically reviewed content by doctors and experts? Visit our resource section.

How Do You Deal With A Parent Who Does Not Want To Quit Driving.

How Do You Deal With A Parent Who Does Not Want To Quit Driving.

We took mother 's keys away about 2 months ago. She did OK at first. Now she is demanding her key and does
not want anyone to drive her or go with her. Very frustrating.

posted July 13, 2018
A myALZteam Member

Three years ago, doctors told us in no uncertain terms that Dad should not be driving at all. Dad disagreed and was so obsessed with wanting to continue driving, stating he's a great driver, etc. We kept trying to reassure him this was not based on something bad he has done, rather it was a precautionary measure because of his diagnosis. Unfortunately, we had to hide the keys-- he thought he lost them. But it was like torture for him, seeing that car in the yard every day. Eventually, we told him we would have the car towed to my house for the winter months "just in case" Three years later, he still believes he can drive, and he gets very angry when you tell him he can't/shouldn't. There is no reasoning with him here, so we just change the subject now. Some folks have said that they had a doctor "write a prescription" on a prescription pad, reminding the patient that he can not drive per the doctor's orders. Our doctor would not do this,but I've heard various outcomes on that.

posted August 1, 2018
A myALZteam Member

We had the doctor talk to him about relinquishing his keys to his truck. it really went well. He after a few months said he should sell the truck because it was of no use to him. every once in a while he will bring up wishing he could drive again and go do what he wants when he wants. But for the most part he knows it was for his own welfare and others too. He said he would never want to hurt someone.

posted July 17, 2018
A myALZteam Member

When my father got lost for the 4th time in a neighborhood he lived in for 40+ years my brother had to disable our father's car to keep him from driving. (Pulled something loose I think).
After that my brother had the car towed away, we kept telling dad they were waiting for a part. Eventually he stopped asking but we had to be available to get dad to his favorite places.
With my husband hearing it from the doctor was enough to get him to agree to sell our second car. Then I dropped him from the he car insurance policy. He has always been a rule follower and wouldn't dream of driving without Insurance. Now I replaced our car with one that has a fob and push button start. My husband would not know how to start the car. Besides he has gotten used to me driving him wherever we go and he gets to enjoy the scenery.

posted October 2
A myALZteam Member

My neighbor’s husband had Lewey Body Dementia; he passed away four years ago. She had to take the car keys away from him, as well, for his safety. She was also a paralegal & worked for an attorney; she was able to work from home part of the week. When I expressed to her my concerns about my husband’s driving, she said that he shouldn’t be driving, especially with the diagnosis of Alzheimer’s. It’s not safe for him anymore, but if he got into an accident & hit someone or someone else’s property, he (we) could be sued big time! His medical records would become evidence against him (us) & we were at risk of losing everything, in a vehicle fault case. So, I took the keys away & sold his car, explaining these reasons that it was no longer safe for him to drive. It’s just not safe for him or the public. He understood, but he used to complain ever so often, about not having his own car to drive; he’s 76 years old & drove most of his life. It was emotionally hard for me to take his car away, but I had to look at the situation from a legal point of view & keep have us at risk of a lawsuit.

posted October 7, 2021
A myALZteam Member

My Dad has a fit that he can't carry his wallet anymore. I tried giving it back to him and left a couple of dollars in there just so he would feel as if he had money if he needed it. Everytime we went out, he would hand it to me and ask me to keep it in my purse. After a while, I gave up. The topic often comes up in conversation, so I do the same, but he always hands it back to me. I usually end up carrying his glasses, too. Recently, he decided he wanted to carry them. For days afterwards, he was always wearing sunglasses from the time he woke up til he went to sleep. I'd ask him about it and he would complain it was too sunny outside (even at 9pm). I was cleaning out my car and found his glasses under the seat and realized he had lost them but wasn't or couldn't admit it. So now, the glasses go into my purse as well.

I would give your Mom a key on a key ring but not one that will open a door or turn on a car. If she tries to use it, you can just tell her the car may need servicing and hopefully, she'll forget about it and move on to some other topic.

posted August 10, 2018

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