Everyone is different you have been doing the best for your dear mom. Hospice can vary depending on staff. With guidance we provided hospice in a assisted living in (Indianapolis Indiana) the center of my moms senior housing for her brother move from Tucson Arizona he had liver and pancreatic cancer in 2004. He lived with loving family support for about 6 weeks. He went to glory in his sleep, comfortable and peacefully. My brother and his children who lived close by helped hospice and my mom visiting daily. I'm a RN and coordinated with the staff and traveled 8 hours every Friday and Saturday to make sure everything ran smoothly. We had one incident of some staff theft of his oral morphine. I had to call the hospice nurse to get it ordered for my brother to pick up at a 24 hour CVS pharmacy. On the other side my mom had a massive stroke,12/13/17, went into constant seizures had to get put into a medically induced coma for 2 days for comfort.
On the third day we changed her to hospice status in ICU. We removed the vent and had to give her meds for the air hunger. She went to glory after 12 hours and it was not peaceful and hard to watch.
I'm sharing all this in hopes that you get a good team to help evaluate your mom and come up with a good plan of care to meet your family needs. I wish I could be there to help you navigate this journey
I'm praying you will be divinely guided. Hugs XOXO

Please let her go Home to God. And you are not selfish in doing this. It’s called mercy. My sister and I had to decide this for our Mother. And it was a merciful decision. God bless you and your Mom.

Thank you, Whispers. I know you are right. I am spending as much time as possible with her and have even had a few sweet moments. But when she is clear, I can see what torture it is for this formerly dignified lady to feel so out of control. Fortunately, some new medications have afforded her some relief. I am grateful for your understanding as this is a journey that you really can’t comprehend unless you’ve experienced it. And there are no clear guidelines as to what you should do so I am winging it, hoping I get it right and hoping she doesn’t suffer because of my inexperience.
Thanks for your support.
Hope you and your loved ones are doing well.

When she asks to go home to god I'm thinking that at that moment she's being "her" old self and for seconds even she sees what's happening to her and doesn't like but can't control it. I don't think your hanging on to her at all. She's your mum and its a natural process to look after her. So your doing what everyone does when dealing with this awful disease. God will take your mum when he decides its time to. Not when me or you or anyone else thinks he should take her. Don't dwell on this instead I'd say use your energies on enjoying what time you may have left with your mum. Time is precious right now. Thinking of u.x

Thank you Mombazo. I am grateful for your help and prayers. I will pray for you, also. XXOO