My father is becoming more aggressive and rude and mean. Starting to say hurtful things. Any suggestions on how to ease him?
Thanks for all the responses. Things have changed, and we're not moving. In the meantime, I have found an absolutely great program on You Tube. It's produced by Dr. Natali N. Edmonds. She's a board certified Geropsychologist. Her program focuses on the caregivers, rather than just the loved one with dementia. In one of her first programs, she said "The person with dementia can't change, so you, the caregiver, must change." I've only gone through a few of her programs, but already it's made a tremendous difference in our lives. She calls her program " Careblazers", because it focuses on our needs and how to deal with all the consequences of caring for someone with dementia. I urge everyone to check it out. Just go to You Tube and search "Careblazers".
@A myALZteam Member Decline is the disease but may happen quicker with things like infection, major changes in routine/caregiver, etc. When they stop wanting to eat is when you know things are taking a turn. Try assessing him for health conditions unnoticed, medication side effects, things like that. Hopefully you find something to help. If its just part of the course for him right now, it's very hard on us and sad but the focus on meaningful connection, comfort, and dignity eases our pain and helps them transition the best way possible given the circumstances. The last week i spent with her, despite everything, comforts me in grieving. If you notice anything very sudden or that would put his health/safety at risk, or yours, get help. Hospice helped us. You may not need it yet but you can maybe look into palliative care and just see what they say.
My husband is still fixated on driving. He put a battery charger on his old car fortunately the battery is useless. I unplugged the charger after 4-5 hours. When I got back from the grocery he was very angry. I tried to change the subject by cooking dinner. He eat a little then screamed again. I went outside to get bags of mulch I'd bought at the store. He came out and took 1 bag and started screaming again about the battery charging. Stuck in his makings? It also was 6pm. Sundowning usually starts at 4-5pm. He became so angry he hit the hedge I use mulch each year. He hit the Bush with a small long handled shovel. I egnored him went into the house and went upstairs. After Reading some comments on myalzteam. I've relaxed. It's the disease. Goodnight all I'm going to read my new book. Thanks you'll
@RachelFrederickChlava @Sholl @A myALZteam Member From the Alzeimer Reading Room... Anger is usualy caused by the Loved One being left alone too long. They are acting out being onfused and scared. So think about what they are doing while you are doing the laundry or cleaning the house. Parked in front of a TV is probably adding to the problem. The solution perhaps is to get them moving by folding towels ( and then shake them out so they can fold them again), peel carrots or paotatoes, sweep the floor, take them out for coffee.... It does not matter how well they are doing things... we want them just doing so the hallucinations may be controlled somewhat,
Sometimes meds need to be adjusted too. but I'd try this first... Hugs to everyone who is a Care-giver. -Sharon
Ativan was making my mom argumentative and she would hallucinate and have awful dreams. I found out that you can not argue back, you have to agree and try to divert their attention. She would always say she wanted to go home, the response that worked for me was that either a storm was coming or traffic was bad and we would leave to take her home as soon as it had passed. You have to become a pleasant liar and be very reassuring that you believe what they are saying and that you will do whatever they want. She would not remember 30 minutes later. She hasn’t done anything like that in over a year. Thank God!
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