I don't think it is wrong to take on the finances. We had this particular issue with a place that my mother was spending money and finally we had to go to that business and say she is not able to write out a check (we live in a small town so check is still a normal payment option, thank goodness she doesn't have a credit card or debit card). We also worked with the bank and they changed her accounts to require two signatures on a check. Since this point started, we have removed check blanks from her purse and now is given so much money and has to ask for additional when needed. It isn't that she can't have it, we just have to monitor what she has.

We were too late at helping and had to fix the mess. My Dad had accidentally withdrew $30k out of his mutual funds and if it wasn't for Mom and her paranoia with the disease, their children wouldn't know about the identity theft situation. They immediately called us and the computer was unplugged STAT. A lot of fixing had to happen and major stress on us. Don't let it go any further. Let her write the checks with your observation. It is disheartening to see them struggle writing it though.so be prepared for the tears in your eyes.

My sister has the POA for our Mum. My sister lives 1200 miles away! My sister, I believe, was unfairly burdoned by this arrangement. However, she has done an excellent job. She gradually took over paying bills via the internet through Mum’s bank account and now that Mum has been deemed incompetent, she has taken over the remainder of the financial dealings. I find that the most horrible thing about all of this is knowing when the person cannot truly manage anything on their own. Yet one does not want to strip the person of their independance. It is not an easy burdon.

I just recently took over my mother's finances..not because she was over spending but because she stopped paying the bills. Said she was afraid of running out of money. Now we do the bills together on a weekly basis so she can see where the money is going.

Eventially she will be at that stage that she doesn't even think about the finances. Each day will be consumed with menial regular routine of getting up, hygiene issues, getting dressed, eating, activities such as exercise classes, and eating again, and taking meds, going to sleep, and waking up for the next day.