How Do You Handle The Grief As The Caregiver Watching The Progression And Knowing They Probably Need Longterm Care? | myALZteam

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How Do You Handle The Grief As The Caregiver Watching The Progression And Knowing They Probably Need Longterm Care?
A myALZteam Member asked a question 💭

A dear friend of mine told me I am not the first nor the last to go through this disease and I would survive. While that is true, it is not helping get thru the grief. I am basically by myself and just terribly sad.

posted January 30, 2018
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A myALZteam Member

Having a plan is needed. Even if you never have to act on that plan, it can be your backup. When my husband gets agitated, if I get madder and tougher than him, he has backed down. Even today, he didn't want to take his afternoon meds. I got irritated and he knew it. So, he took his meds. I think the doc may be concerned one day that won't work. I'm just getting tired of dealing with the attitude.
I hope you never have to use a plan, but I sincerely encourage you to have one. Just k owing there is a plan takes a lot if stress away.

posted February 10, 2018
A myALZteam Member

It is hard, my therapist said it is just like I was in moaning but physically he is still here.

posted March 2, 2018
A myALZteam Member

Julie, What a great question. When I greet care providers who come to the assisted living house to go on a tour I believe every single one of them is carrying the burden of grief. For one thing, I believe the creator wired us all to grieve so it must be absolutely normal for us to do so.
On one occasion, several years ago, I was facilitating a support group when a member burst into tears across my table and said, "I miss my mommy." She was actively involved in her Mom's daily care. That is how it works. Many providers have shared their stories about moving their loved ones into a facility with me.
That seems to be an entirely new set of circumstances to grieve. They seemed to make the transition with a lot of tears and conversation to figure it all out. They reported to me the most difficult part was driving to the facility and choosing not to turn in because they needed to tend to some of their own needs. Does the term searching for a "balanced approach to caregiving" register for you to consider?
The good news is that when you look at the stars in the sky at night, that is how many who are on this journey with you. Blessings and love, Eddie.

posted February 3, 2018
A myALZteam Member

My husband is not there yet and im hopeful that he never will. Its just all of the possibilties. Ive always liked to have a plan and with this disease i cant seem to make any. Each day is so different from the last.

posted February 9, 2018
A myALZteam Member

Always remember to do what’s best for your mom , not you.

posted February 21, 2018

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