My dad is 90 and in his 10th year of Alzheimer's. He lives in an assisted living facility with my 89 yr. old mom (his only connection to reality). He still has his endearing personality (through little quips and childlike comments), and is so kind to everyone he sees. But, he does not seem to understand how to perform the most basic activities anymore or understand what he is to be doing from one moment to the next. He doesn't know what goes on his toothbrush and asks what he is to do next after… read more
Each day is a test to understand where my husband will be today. Happy, thoughtful or upset that his wife (me) has left him here. He always wants to go home. I am reading "Learning to Speak Alzheimers" By Robert Butler. A Good book and helpful hints. As I try to get all house work done, yard work, also now, and cooking and cleaning. Its just so tiring, but I know I need to do more interaction with him to keep him busy instead of him napping. He just isn't interested in the hobbies or even TV that he once used to. He always feel someone was just here or ask where the people are that were here? I pray for patience each day. When we Zoom with our family during this Pandemic, our children say he seems happy and fine, but unless you are here 24/7 they have no idea.. Reading everyone's comments does help. Bless you all, we will get thru this with support.
Depending on the effects of determination of the brain will decifer what will decline
But remember this They are still in there
They can’t communicate as well as before but sometimes we can reach them
Familiarity is key to responses
Use all the senses of touch smell taste sight hearing to reach your loved one in any stage of the disease
Individuals will respond differently depending on connection
Make those responses a way of reaching them
I’ve worked with folks who knew they were forgetting and know the frustration of things not working. In my many years of work it never a ceases to remind me that there is a person in there and always try, you might be surprised in their response
A person cannot tell time but can spell any word you ask them
May not do daily routine activities but can tell you how to play a certain with ease
If your loved one loves ice cream - give them them that pleasure
If they always loved dogs - bring a dog to visit
If they love country music -play some old tunes for them to listen
Bring photo albums of pics from 25 yrs ago
They may remember...
Becky and all Caregivers-
Let's remember that we are no help to our ALZ loved ones if we get sick-physically or mentally. Take anti-depressants if they help; exercise, even just a little each day; get plenty of sleep and nap when they nap; make some great meals that you like; call a trusted friend on the phone while your ALZ person is watching TV or napping; make lasagna for a friend as a trade for 2 hrs of time off for you.
Be creative and use your off-time wisely. I am craving a massage--as soon as that kind of contact is allowed!
LeeAnne and Michelle, yes their personalities change so much. I had every intention of always keeping him at home and looking after him. Unfortunately, I did not know then how he would change from the kind, caring loving man I was married to for 52 years to a quite violent man at times. Yes, in the beginning you can laugh at some funny things that happened, but not any more. Everything changes with this horrible disease. Michael is now in care and fortunately only ten minutes walk from my home and I am able to visit twice daily. The grief I suffer is heart breakingly sad, I really feel as if my heart is going to break when I cry. I have learnt so much, and now have so much more empathy for other people who also suffer. I am just so pleased he doesn't know how he has changed, he is not aware. It is the families who suffer so much, it is just ongoing. All I can say is, I do know how much you are all suffering, your loved one has changed, and all you can do is remember the happy times, it is not their fault.
Do you remember how we had to teach little kids to do things? Lots of steps....
1. Find toothbrush
2. Find toothpaste
3. Take lid off toothpaste.
4. Squeeze out little bit toothpaste onto brush
5. Set down toothbrush
6. Put lid on toothpaste
7. Put toothbrush in mouth
8. Brush by moving toothbrush up and down in mouth.
9. Do side teeth
10. Do back teeth on top and bottom
11. Spit all liquid into sink
12. Run water in sink
13. Rinse off toothbrush.
14. Have drink water.
15. Put everything away.
As I understand it, there is a lot of missing steps or mixed up steps so that he might not realize an important step is there or maybe he sees step 15 (put all away) as being step 5. So then what to do as nothing left to do the steps for brushing the teeth.... Food for thought at least1
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