Any advice? My Dad is in mid stages (some say late). Good/Bad days. He still knows all his "people" for the most part, but obviously, is worsening with time. He is (was) extremely intelligent, and thus, his diagnosis is different, in that he is fighting this with all his being. He most times forgets (hello!) that he has Alz, and does not know what he even ate for breakfast a few minutes after he has eaten. We moved my parents (Mom legally blind with MD--but mentally great--she has orders… read more
Most may not agree.... But I never told my mom she had dementia! Because I knew it would scare her to death and my dad had already passed and she lived alone.... But I lived next door and it made it easier..... First rule... They are always right unless their safety is an issue... Always agree.... Don't keep telling them what's wrong.... Change the subject if you can. If you can't, just agree in as silent a way as you can, or simply be silent..... In short time they tend to let it go.... Until next time.... It worked for me. Telling little white lies to mom sure put me on a guilt trip for a while until I realized, it was good for her... And me as well. Seriously.... The best advice I can give is.... Don't argue with them... You will never win and you'll both just get more agrevated and stressed....
For what it's worth... Before my Dad was officially diagnosed, I called his primary care doctor. I told him that I wasn't looking for any confidential information on my Dad. Rather, I gently suggested that during his next physical (or well visit) he recommend or perform some sort of minor, non-invasive, cognitive test as a part of his regular appointment. I told him that the family had much reason to believe there may be something more going on than just plain old-age loss of memory. The doctor appreciated that we did not ask for any information on Dad. There was no pressure, just helpful information for the doctor to know in advance of Dad's regular appointment.
Until someone spends 24 hours with them, they may not know... Visits tell nothing. I've heard so many people say that about siblings. Invite them to stay longer than a visit so they may change their mind and provide more support... Thank God our loved ones seem to typically have at least one person that will see and do the right thing for them. 💗
Thank you for sharing. My brother and sister think Mom is fine, but I am the one staying with her, due to doctor's request. She is not fine! They simply have no idea how much Mom has changed, and they refuse to accept it. But that's ok, I've got this!
I would call the drs office and let the nurse know that he has problems, but you do not want him to know you have called. They will know how to handle the situation. See if they will do a simple cognitive test right there in the office next time he goes.
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