My wife would not let me, our daughter or her sister give her a shower. We hired a gal to come in 2 days a week and Sharon loves her and will do anything for her including letting her give her a shower. She will let us wash her hair daily

We had this same issue.what we did which is kind of deceitful we got a large calender and we talked to her on a good day,mom when do you want your shower ? Then we would mark it on the calender. And we let her tell me when she wanted to wash her hair. Then when she started to fuss I would say mom look at the calender today is your shower day that you picked,and because she felt in control and she would go and we would do it. Even some days when she would have a accident in her pants I would just show her the Calender and point to a day that had the star on it.

Hey, thank you, that's an excellent idea. Mum relies on her calendar so much as her de facto memory. That might just work! I will share your suggestion with my Dad. Mum finally did wash her hair yesterday, but with conditioner only! I'm going to label the bottles more clearly as I have with other items, as she no longer has the patience to try to discern the difference between the shampoo and conditioner! But at least she washed her hair somehow....thanks so much for replying.

Finally convinced Dad and Mum to get a wash-and-set once every week or every two weeks. In a couple of weeks, I will bring her to my home near Toronto (a couple of hours from their home) and get Mum a nice soft perm with a bit of extra body (my friend and stylist did this for Mum in October before she went to Florida and it's the first time Mum has been happy with a hairstylist in years! Well worth the trip to my own stylist, even if a couple of hours away. It lasted her all winter in Florida. And as suggested by PGrinell, in the meantime, I put the wash-and-set reminder in the calendar for both of them!!!!! Thanks for the great tips everyone. This week, Mum curled her hair with the curling iron, but she can`t really do the back, so I did it for her, but she`s in the habit of brushing it out afterwards (she thinks to `fluff it up' and actually undid everything I did, so I had to do it again, ha ha ha! No trouble at all. She looked a lot better, as she can never get the back.

Wow, Joseph, that's amazing to hear. Funny that your wife would let the care worker give her a shower, but will not let a family member. I mentioned your approach to my Dad. He still feels that Mum would not allow anyone yet to come into the home. I guess we'll have to cross that bridge when we come to it. Mum did eventually wash her hair after about 10 days, but mistakenly only used conditioner! So I have now labelled everything more clearly. I also tried making sure I complimented her on how nice her hair looks now that she has washed it! Thank you for responding.