Questions & Answers

On one hand, I'm relieved...the day-to-day stresses of caring for a 200lb toddler and working a FT job are over. I tried my best and did my best (mostly) to keep him home...but it was becoming increasingly difficult. I toggle back and forth between, "I'm okay" and "I'm SO sad". I'm glad to be able to turn my full attention back to my job and my health. Taking care of so many things I had to put on hold for the past few years, it's overwhelming. I'm decluttering, throwing away, donating and… read more

My dad is 90 and in his 10th year of Alzheimer's. He lives in an assisted living facility with my 89 yr. old mom (his only connection to reality). He still has his endearing personality (through little quips and childlike comments), and is so kind to everyone he sees. But, he does not seem to understand how to perform the most basic activities anymore or understand what he is to be doing from one moment to the next. He doesn't know what goes on his toothbrush and asks what he is to do next after… read more

I am 52, and left my job in April to say home and care for my husband
He has 3 adult children. I have no children of my own
I'm a devoted and loving wife & partner.
My goals have been to keep M happy, safe and give him as much joy as possible.
Now, I'm struggling.... more than I ever have.
I've lost my joy. Any joy.
I am i his only caretaker, with him 24/7. I am able to leave him for an hour or so, but not much longer.
When I do leave, I worry constantly anyway.
Taking him places is getting… read more

Have caregivers used Progressive Relaxation as a way to reduce their own stress? This technique has you listen to a soothing voice (with calming music) while you systematically clench and relax various muscle groups. I had found this technique useful several years ago, but I plan on returning to its use now that I am responsible for my wife’s care.

I know that ALZ can cause you to lose some words and understanding. But do you find that your loved ones start creating new words or phrases? Instead of a shower, Dad now takes a "shower-bath". And if we talk about shower, he doesn't understand. This is one of the easier ones to understand. It is making it hard to understand him. He knows what he is saying, but the rest of us don't. I think I may need to build a "Dad's Dictionary" as we figure these out.

Why is it so hard to be patient? I know it's not their fault. I know it is the disease. But why is it so hard to answer the same question over and over again? Why is it so hard to to listen even when they aren't making sense? Why is it so hard to not expect more from them? It's been more than a year. Why am I not better at this?

I don't expect an answer. Just sharing what's running through my head before it comes out as tears. Love and hugs to all of you going through this with your… read more

My husbands family who only sees him about 3 or 4 times a year, can’t tell there is anything wrong him. Sometimes I think they doubt his diagnosis and what I tell them. He is on medication, still takes care of all his personal needs, drives in our very small town, and does most everything he used to do. He can carry on a conversation without most people noticing anything unusual. Yet at home with our immediate family, we see small things daily. He looses his phone, wallet, sunglasses all the… read more

I am the daughter of a sweet mother (88) with dementia. I can absolutely not get her to bathe. She insists that she just took a shower when it has been at least 4 weeks since her last one. I have tried everything I can think of: telling her we will have a spa day and I will help her if she wishes. I bought her a nice shower mitt and shower gel and a stool to sit on while in the shower. I have tried a calendar showing her the last time she showered. She gets very angry and nothing I can do or say… read more