Connect with others who understand.

  •   Learn from expert-reviewed resources
  •   Real advice from people who’ve been there
  •   People who understand what you’re going through
Sign Up Log In
All Resources Treatments A-Z Personal Assistant Help Center Crisis
Powered By
Real members of myALZteam have posted questions and answers that support our community guidelines, and should not be taken as medical advice. Looking for the latest medically reviewed content by doctors and experts? Visit our resource section.

not sure whats going on with my friend- i'm her caregiver two days a week 10hrs at a time. and no matter what its like shes flipped a script

A myALZteam Member asked a question 💭
St Charles, IL

as though no matter what she cant be comfortable and everything she touches is not okay- and by that i mean if she reaches for her cup now she will retreat immediately when she touches it unless i'm there to say its okay- and even then most times she mentally cant touch it- shes got an appointment with her neuro on the 21st this month for new scans- the biggest challenge i would say that i could use help with is when she begins her durations of "not feeling well, tummy hurts, clammy hands, more… read more

June 26
 · 
Be the first to react
A myALZteam Member

You're such a great friend, it must be so hard for you. Maybe you could suggest to her husband that she may need some kind of medication?

July 3
A myALZteam Member

Tests patience

June 29
A myALZteam Member

their house is the definition of "peaceful" its very quiet- and theres almost no sound except when i'm on my laptop typing- and her durations of difficult times are often after several times of going to the bathroom (only urine) and also after eating- she forgets shes eaten so i have to be careful with how much or how often bc she wont stop eating- as far as her routine goes we have kept it almost identical after i began longer days with her- and introducing new things does seem to do anything for her anymore- she enjoys when i get here and we do have a good day but when she begins not feeling well every day and i've tried giving her something to hold she got upset- tried a diffuser with lavender- just sitting next to her and being a safe presence- it all only works for a few mins at a time- we need to figure out a way where we can allow her to relax even when her disease is making her believe she cant relax-
<3 Kelsie

June 26
myALZteam

What you're describing sounds really hard — for your friend, her husband, and for you as her caregiver. The changes you're noticing, like her sensitivity to touch, restlessness, stomach discomfort, and clammy hands, can all be connected to how Alzheimer's affects the senses and the nervous system over time. These aren't Show Full Answer

What you're describing sounds really hard — for your friend, her husband, and for you as her caregiver. The changes you're noticing, like her sensitivity to touch, restlessness, stomach discomfort, and clammy hands, can all be connected to how Alzheimer's affects the senses and the nervous system over time. These aren't unusual as the condition progresses, but they are genuinely distressing.

The good news is that her neurology appointment on the 21st is coming at the right time. Make sure to write down everything you've observed — the touch sensitivity, the hours-long episodes of discomfort, the fidgeting, and the fact that reassurance isn't working as well anymore. Specific details like timing and duration really help her care team. In the meantime, here are some things that may help during those difficult episodes:

- Reduce background noise and stimulation — a calmer environment can lower agitation
- Use verbal reassurance paired with gentle, predictable touch — sudden contact can feel alarming
- Offer a comforting object she already knows well, like a soft blanket or familiar item
- Stick to a consistent routine — predictability can reduce anxiety
- Use high-contrast items like a brightly colored cup, which may help since she has partial vision loss
- Speak slowly and simply, directly in front of her so she can see you clearly

It's also worth noting that sometimes what looks like agitation or discomfort is actually a response to pain, hunger, or thirst — so running through a quick checklist during episodes can help narrow things down. For her husband, it's really common for caregiving strategies that once worked to stop being effective as Alzheimer's progresses. That's not a failure on his part — it's the nature of the condition shifting. Letting him know that is sometimes its own kind of comfort.

You're doing something really meaningful showing up for her the way you do. 💙

June 26

Related Questions

View All

Do dementia patients forget meal time?

A myALZteam Member asked a question 💭
Meridian, MS
April 9, 2020

Assistance paying for in home care

A myALZteam Member asked a question 💭
Victoria, TX
January 11, 2017

I'm a caregiver...
My Perspective: I Am a Caregiver
My Perspective: Make ER Trips Bearable with a Caregiver Comfort Kit
Continue with Facebook
Continue with Google
By joining, you accept our Terms of Use, and acknowledge our collection, sharing, and use of your data in accordance with our Health Data and Privacy policies.
Already a member? Log In