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I'm So Sad. My Husband Is So Confused Lately. Asks The Same Question 4 Times In 4 Minutes! What Can I Do?

A myALZteam Member asked a question 💭
Renton, WA
August 11
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A myALZteam Member

I keep a notepad for repetitive questions and write the answer down. Sometimes I have him write it down. I even do this in the car so when he asks where we are going I say check the notepad. He doesn’t seem to mind and it really helps me. I also sometimes tell Alexa and have him ask her.

August 11
A myALZteam Member

I wish I had a concrete answer for you. There really isn’t a good answer. He really doesn’t remember asking the question. Is he ok if you just ignore the question? My
Husband asks things I don’t understand because of his low volume speech and mumbling so I often just say, yes or maybe or I’ll check that out later.

August 11
A myALZteam Member

When my mother continually asks the same question, I get her to repeat my answer, word-4-word, 2-3 times in a row.

Then I'll say "her" question she had asked me & get her to reply with my answer. Then when she asks the same question a few mins later she realises mid sentence and answers her own question all by her self. It works for me 9 out of 10 times

I also have a white board propped up on the kitchen table. I write the repetitive question/s answered which works well as I can wipe clean the white board each day. Sometimes she'll ask me a question & I give her the answer and she'll actually say to me, "well, did you write it down" as I'm sure she knows she's going to ask the same question a 100 times. Problem is she forgets to read the message board so when she asks the same question I just say "check the message board" or sometimes I just say "table".
These methods aren't solve proof but have helped a lot & hope this helps others. Stay strong people, cheers...

August 21
A myALZteam Member

Carol, I totally relate to the repetitive questions. For a long time I would just simply calmly and with as much kindness and cheer as I could muster repeat the answer. Over and over. Lately I have been redirecting and it is so much easier hopefully for both of us. For example. “What time are we leaving?” “We are leaving at 6:00. Did I tell you how Kieran did in her swim meet? “ (and then go off on a monologue about oldest granddaughter’s swim meet) This works for at least a while and gives me a short break. I also have written the answer down for Rick and place it where he sits. That also works sometimes. It is a nerve wracking, heart wrenching, grief ridden journey and we need all the tools we can find plus a big dose of patience and kindness. My strong, athletic, smart guy has disappeared but I know he needs me and I will do what I can one hour at a time. This ALZ journey was not what I ever would have imagined would be our reality yet it stands as a reminder we can only control our own reactions.

August 11
A myALZteam Member

Wow, @A myALZteam Member, if you can really do that, you get a gold medal for patience! At 4 or 5, I tell him he's in a repetitive loop and say we need to talk about something else.

August 11

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