This has been an ongoing issue with my mom. For the times she says no and I know she needs a change, I ask her to take a walk and we take a detour to the bathroom. I always have a stack of Depends handy and a change of dry clothes if they are needed. I don’t know at what stage your wife is in but my mom is beyond understanding so nothing logical computes in her brain. I also have extra padding on furniture “just in case.” My mom is in home hospice now with caregiving but she is never forced to do anything. It’s hard but I learned sometime ago never to argue or force. It’s a journey we are on.

Thanks , I’ll try both

Try to explain she can get a UTI and die. It might scare her enough

Hi John2, There isn’t an easy answer. My husband enjoys going for a walk and also likes to ride in the car. I tell him when we have changed his depends then he can go with me. I try to keep it as part of a routine thru the day. Sometimes the words don’t connect with him so I lead him to the restroom and ask again. Hopefully someone will have a solution that works for you. I also keep a towel folded on his chair just in case.