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My Mom Is Diag Alz. My Dad Is 78 And Disabled. He Refuses To Pay For Help. I Do Everything For Them But Have A FT Job And Fam. Ideas?

A myALZteam Member asked a question 💭
Frisco, TX

I would like their apartment to be cleaned. They insist it’s clean but my dad has problems with incontinence and my mom will use dirty dishes/clothes because she can’t tell that they’re not clean.

January 7, 2023
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A myALZteam Member

If/when you find some help, be there when the person comes the first time, and maybe even a few more times. Praise your Dad as he allows that person to help. Complement the person, and say how glad you are that they are doing (whatever) to make things more comfortable, better, for your parents. And a few days after that help has been given, when you come into your parents’ home, comment on what you see that is good, clean, handy, nice, etc. because of what the helper did.

January 14, 2023
A myALZteam Member

Hi Glory

Thank you so much for all of your great suggestions and appreciate the support. I should have been more clear in that it’s not necessarily the money. It’s that my father doesn’t believe they need the help. He thinks he can do it all on his own but he simply can’t. Unfortunately, it will probably take something serious happening before he accepts outside help. I don’t want that to happen so I’m doing it all but I have a family and unemployed spouse. It’s taking a toll on all of us.

January 8, 2023
A myALZteam Member

Hi Dana,
See what free services they may have in your area like home delivered meals and home health aides and apply for them also some insurances will provide or pay for these. At the very least you should have someone come in and clean even if its only once a week. Though I dont use it yet we have Meals on Wheels and they bring our nieghbor breakfast lunch and dinner. Also talk to their doctors they may be able to help and locate a social worker to get things set up for them. I hope this helps 🌹😊

January 8, 2023

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