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Real members of myALZteam have posted questions and answers that support our community guidelines, and should not be taken as medical advice. Looking for the latest medically reviewed content by doctors and experts? Visit our resource section.

How Do I Get My Husband To Sit Down On The Toilet?

How Do I Get My Husband To Sit Down On The Toilet?

He hasn't had any problem sitting down on our raised toilet with heated bidet until recently. He is understanding less but I think he may be afraid to sit. What would be the best kind of device to try.? I get so frustrated as he then goes in his pants which usually results in another shower. Any suggestions will be appreciated! It is enough to make me think I can no longer keep him at home.

posted November 17
A myALZteam Member

Yes, it is challenging for sure...I think vision and peripheral vision sometimes declines ( in D's case this is true)...and what happens where they "perceive" the toilet is not really where it is...so if they get a fright sitting in wrong place, they become nervous of the toilet. Sometimes I have to push D on the toilet as he is sitting right over it. When one's vision is off, its hard to trust I guess. In my case there have been lots of accidents with poop being done in the wrong places.

BUT I have to say he is becoming more accurate now since I took one arm of the toilet seat.

posted November 21
A myALZteam Member

@A myALZteam Member - absolutely genius!!!
This is why I love this place. I’ve learned so much here that I would never find in a book…. and I’m not talking about specific practices or tricks that work, I’ve learned about the ‘Spirit of a Caregiver’
Guided by LOVE, the caregiver simply try’s anything and everything and it’s LOVE that gives the caregiver the creativity and opens the mind to come up with solutions (fart noises) And it’s LOVE that strengthens and gives perseverance to not give up, to “set the alarm” and try again.
I love this place because I’m surrounded by people who LOVE with determination and that “attitude” is palpable and contagious…
Did I mention LOVE?
The most powerful force in the universe, certainly stronger than sleepless nights, frustration, worry, struggle and disappointment. It’s gotten us to this point, and it will get us through.
I LOVE this place !! ❤️

posted November 18 (edited)
A myALZteam Member

I have a little chair near by the bathroom, and I tell him I will sit with him and distract with various things. I promise him a snack, sing or talk about his life and distract him. On bad days I get Alexis to play fart noises which make him laugh and relax, and then I can coax him down on the seat, but I have to sit with him and talk or sing to him or he’s up and out of the bathroom. When he fights me and doesn’t understand to sit on the toilet there is no way to force him so if my distraction don’t work, I give up and try later, and I set my alarm to remind me to try again because if I know he is overdue it will be in his pants which starts a really bad day because he blames his delusions all day for the accident. I wish I had better advise.

posted November 17
A myALZteam Member

@A myALZteam Member, thank you for your very kind words! This site with folks like you, Steve Nuttall, Lindy Lou, Eva, Rebekah and so many many more who were so willing to share their stories of how they handled various issues with their loved ones with this complicated disease with no cure have helped me survive. The love, patience, commitment and advice I have read about on this site gave me a place to lean on the past 5 years when my husband was no longer working with me to arrest the progression and started to loss touch with reality. ❤️

posted November 18 (edited)
A myALZteam Member

Hi everyone. LATELY, D has been having problems with sitting properly on the toilet.
He knows when he wants to go and is willing to sit, but due to his vision, he often misses the toilet. If I am not guiding him, instead he will try to sit BETWEEN the toilet and the bathtub. A few times he just sat on the edge of bathtub and used it as a toilet...MY NERVES!!!! Since this happened I have devised a plan. I bought an attachment with arms to put on toilet. Did it work? No...
He used the arm closes to bathtub to guide his butt on edge of tub..ha
Anyhow, I took the arm closes to the Tub off. Now there is only 1 arm left. This seems to be working. When he holds the arm attachment now, he most always sits on the toilet the right way. We practice..

posted November 18

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