Sandra, it has been my experience working with caregivers for my wife that an experienced caregiver can overcome the initial resistance from a patient. One caregiver came into our house, sat on my wife’s bed and began talking with her like a long lost cousin. My wife was confused at first, but she soon joined the conversation.

Since that experience, we have had 8 or so different caregivers. The younger, less experienced caregivers do not do as well as the older, more veteran people.

Ask the care agency for one of their more experienced caregivers, at least to start the process going. It would even be right to wait for the right person in order to get off to a good start.

Sandra, My husband was adamant at first he needed no babysitter so I just told him the lady was here to clean house and help me. That was 4 years ago and he still questions me once in a while about why is that lady here and I just repeat ad nauseum.

Sandra, my husband said he did not need anyone to stay with him, he could stay home alone. I told him it made me feel better to have someone here, and they could keep each other company. When you do hire someone, stick around until you know he’s comfortable. You might even want to stay the entire time the sitter is there, and just hang out in another room in the house. I also told my husband that the sitter would call me anytime if he needed to talk to me. That never did happen.

I agree with Robert that an older caregiver who has had experience is your best bet. Bill’s last caregiver came for eight months. She had difficulty walking, but my husband did not need any hands-on care. Anytime he got up out of his chair, she was right behind him making sure he was OK. On the last day she was here, the agency called to see why she had not checked out at her allotted time. I told her to let them know she was still on the clock, and she could stay as long as she wanted to. I knew that would be her last day with him, and it was. He died two days later. She came to his funeral.

We also had a long-term care policy and had to use an agency. We used Home Instead.

I just told my husband it was a new friend coming to visit us . I hung out with them the first time, slowly started first working in another room-actually getting much needed naps, then starting to use the time to run errand, meet a friend for lunch. It was a pretty smooth transition