Hello. I have no idea how you're doing all that you are. Wow. Try to take some deep breaths and time for yourself as you can (yeah, right, right?). =)

There is a clause in my dad's trust (boilerplate language in some /many, I understand), that the person who manages his care can be reimbursed for expenses incurred for his care in some regards, but not paid for one's TIME, if that makes sense. With my brother's knowledge, I refund my travel expenses from my dad's trust for visits that I wouldn't make if he didn't have dementia. However, as far as my limited understanding allows, I can't pay myself from his trust for my hourly time spent handling his appointments, paying his bills, etc. Something you might want to check on.

My best to you.

Hi Jenzyoung! If this is an option you are considering, consulting an eldercare lawyer would be a good step. I have a friend who handles estate law and the number of family disputes she has had to handle over caregiver compensation is staggering. You and your brother may come to an agreement, but memories change and having documentation of the agreement, with clear expectations for what you will be compensated for, how you will document what you need to be compensated for and how you will get the compensation will prevent possible issues when your family is dealing with the stress of settling an estate after your Mom passes. ❤️

I think you shouldn’t fell guilty. You are doing everything a home health aide would do and they receive payment for their travel, etc. Good luck, sounds like you are on an extremely busy schedule.

I wish you all well and you are doing a lot of things so if the monetary support will help you then do that. I can judge you because being a caretaker is a lot and the going back and forth is exhausting. Take care

I have one person come on Frodays which is nice. She's someone thstwe met that helped with my dad and someone my mom knew. But my mom wants nothing to do with a caregiver. She and my dad are/were so stubborn and resistant to "needing help". Would be great if she would allow it! We fought my dad tooth and nail his last month of life.