My husband wants to be wherever I am all day everyday. I end up just sitting too much during the day to keep him still and calm. If I look at my phone or read (because I am tired of the same TV land shows that he wants on all day) then he is in my face asking if I am okay!!! When I’m dressing, he is afraid I’m going somewhere 🤷🏼♀️ So he follows me around. Nothing I say or do helps any!
It is also getting difficult to get him to take a bath!
Yep. Mom followed me everywhere especially to the bathroom. I could not begin to tell you what goes through the mind of anyone with AD even though I dealt with it for so many years with Mom. I stopped asking why long before I lost my mind. We actually used the same vest Mom had when she was in the hospital. They had to use a vest to keep her in bed. It was a robe type of garment with long ties in the back. We could "confine" her loosely without her knowledge in her chair littered with cards, photos and letters (mostly to her from me). I could get her to start looking while I was able to get some time alone for a few minutes averaging maybe 1/2 hour. That was big for us. She would try and stand but could not but she wouldn't complain since she could almost stand up but not quite. She thought it was her arthritis and I never said otherwise. Many blessings to you
Have you talked to his doctor about anti-anxiety meds?
I'm going through the same issues!
The only difference is he still bathes every day. He claims he smells like an old man.
He needs to be able to see me at all times. Some days it don't mind but other days I can't stand it. I try my best to take one day at time. Stay strong!
Yes, the last year before mom-in-law went into long-term care, I could not take a shower or poop unless hubby was home. I am being serious, nothing like taking a shower and your mom in law is opening the shower door wondering what you are doing. Mom was connected to me by the hip. I couldn't leave her with her son, my hubby because she thought he was the handyman. The lectures I got about sleeping with him were entertaining. It's not anxiety, it's an inner safety mechanism. I didn't realize until she went into long-term care, that my life revolved totally around mom-in-law's care, 24 hours a day. It's only now 12 weeks later that I am getting my breath back. It is hard, and there was nothing I could do to get her occupied elsewhere. Respite care worked for a minute, but she would constantly be in my office wondering what I was doing and would want to sit next to me constantly. I am an author, so you cant focus on storytelling with her right next to me. Hard to plan out murder and mayhem when your mom in law, a pastor's wife is sitting right next to you. LOL. Even in my recliner, she would try to crawl in next to me. Take care of yourself, however, you can. I even tried telling her about my story, but then she was warning the handyman we were plotting his murder. Hubby said, do not tell her about your writing, he was scared to go to sleep. Alzheimer's is not fun by any means, but the short of it is, take care of yourself, do what you can, and keep humor in your life. The moments we have are precious.
I care for my step-father, and he is like this with my mother, his wife. He will not let her out of her site for literally no more than 1min and then he is up looking for her etc. He follows her around every day all day long. He will not go to bed without her even if it is just to take a nap. She cannot get any peace going to the bathroom as he follows her there as well. We had the doctors office tell us that this is very common with the disease and they do this primarily to one person in their life that they feel the safest with and will attach to them. They sort of treat this person as their security blanket. The reason is because everything in their life is changing because of this disease, and they are feeling insecure about it and scared, so they pick the safest person they know and use them as the security blanket as they feel safest with them. So they follow them because they are scared that they too are leaving them. So I guess if you think of it with these things behind it, you can sort of see and understand why they do what they do and in away I feel sorry for them and then feel bad for getting on them about tagging along my mother all the time. I know it's extremely hard on her as she gets absolutely no break from him, but at same time he has some bad issues himself. So what should we do???