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Real members of myALZteam have posted questions and answers that support our community guidelines, and should not be taken as medical advice. Looking for the latest medically reviewed content by doctors and experts? Visit our resource section.

Is Visiting Daily In A Facility Too Much For The Loved One?

Is Visiting Daily In A Facility Too Much For The Loved One?

My sister and brother actually admitted to trying to find a place a half hour away so I wouldn’t go as often to visit my mom. I told them it doesn’t matter where she is, when I want to see her I will go visit. I play games, go for walks, take phot albums, play music, visit with other residents that walked or wheeled by (pre covid of course). I’m an educator and am not intimidated by other people and their “conditions” as my siblings are mot comfortable as I am. I say, that’s okay, do what… read more

posted over 1 year ago
A myALZteam Member said:

Well said Ruth!

There is no shame in anyone having Alzheimer's. We are the loving caregivers and someday just maybe, they will realize they were wrong.

edited, originally posted over 1 year ago
A myALZteam Member said:

Tammy, you are a wonderful daughter and as Austin said, you do what you do because you love your Mom. You do not have to answer to anyone. Hope all goes well.

posted over 1 year ago
A myALZteam Member said:

Do want you want to do. So glad she is close enough so you can visit your mom when you want to. Maybe they feel guilty and moving her further away from you will take away their guilt. It won’t. It would just make it harder for you. Prayers sent your way.

posted over 1 year ago
A myALZteam Member said:

Tammy you are doing great, as my siblings always want to give me advice but do nothing for Mom. You do what you do out of love, as I feel it's a privilege to take care of our mothers.

posted over 1 year ago
A myALZteam Member said:

Sooooooo... forgive me if any if this sounds too forward. It sounds like your brother and sister might be feeling some guilt about their lack of visitation and are trying to justify their choices by forcing you to make different ones. It might be my own sibling experience that is coloring my interpretation of your situation - my brother once told me that I must be “nuts” for wanting to take care of my Mom fulltime and that it must be some sort of “power grab.” It all said way more about him than it did about me and my reality. If you are happy, your Mom is happy and able to participate in her community appropriately, and the facility allows your visits, how can your visiting be hurting anyone? If your siblings are afraid that you are judging them for not visiting as often, invite them along and don’t show any judgement if they choose not to come. If they are willing, maybe trying to have a non-judgemental conversation about how everyone wants to interact with your Mom. That way, everyone can have a clearer understanding. Sending hugs and support!❤️

posted over 1 year ago
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