My mom is my dad’s caregiver. He has had dementia for 15 years. She has been in and out of the hospital because of the stress she is under. My two sisters and our husband’s help when we can. My sister’s work full time. My dad is starting to ask the same question less then 2 minutes since the last time he asks. She is getting frustrated. And feels guilty. She is praying for patience. We offer to give her a break, which she refuses. She would like to talk to people that are going through or has gone… read more
The local ALZ Association has some helpful resources. I watched and used resources from Teepa Snow. Google her. Even with mom living in the new apartment we still will help her with meals, and some shopping. The best thing is she is living with other seniors and has social interaction. We keep reminding mom that she took care of us well for so many years and now it’s our turn to help her.
Hang in there. ❤️
When people can't change things to make things better - you offer help, she refuses- I would guess she is depressed. 15 years as a caregiver is a very long time. Maybe it is time to seek out help in the home part of the day. The stress is going to take down her health.
1.In North Dakota - respite hours are available each month for people caring for a loved one full time. Talk to your human service center.
2. If your parents are on a fixed income, there may be other programs to get help.
3. Does a nursing home in your area offer adult daycare?
4. Our state as an online QSP list (qualified service provider) to help you find help in the home if there is no agency to do this in your area. You could contact the Local Alzhiemer's rep to see about getting a support group going again. They will also come to your home and help you learn strategies to deal with the issues.
5. Is there an assistive living facility that they could move into that would giver her some help and support?
6. If she won't let you help with his care - do other things -weekly house cleaning, shopping, make meals to warm up, go with them when doing errands, go with to doctor appointments, etc.
7. Visit!!!! She needs quality conversation to stay emotionally healthy!!!
I hope this helps.
8. Find out if she is getting sleep? It is very difficult to cope with this when you are tired.
Hope this helps.
Unfortunately, my mom is in her right mind......?...and she refuses any help. The help she gets is when she ends up in the hospital and she has no choice. My older sister and I agree they both need extra help. But my mom and younger sister say no. Our family used to be VERY close. I see us drifting apart. Because there has been threats of not talking to us if we did anything to change their everyday habits. I did not think our family would reach this point. And i am not ready to lose my parents or younger sister. So i do nothing. It is so so sad. My mom and dad are in that in between stage. They can still live on their own. But gets questionable at times. Then it gets good again.
This sounds exactly like myself and my family! I’m just trying to get some answers for her , and myself!